God's Word Lived Out

The power of God’s Word is in the living. I had the privilege of going to hear Immaculee Ilibagiza speak this past week. She survived the 1994 Rwandan holocaust where over 1 million Tutsis were slaughtered by Hutus for no other reason than they didn’t like them. Immaculee was hidden in a 2 x 3 foot bathroom with 7 other ladies for 91 days. It was during that time she connected with Christ in a way that allowed her to forgive the men who butchered her mother, father and two brothers.

God taught her through the prayer His son gave to us and reminded her that she is to forgive as He first forgave us. She wrestled and struggled but eventually surrendered and then began to live out what she knew to be Truth. She is now a powerful speaker who shares her faith boldly and proudly.

The night before I listened to Immaculee, I stood in awe of God’s majesty as I looked at the most beautiful rainbow I’ve ever seen. God’s is beyond our complete understanding, but at the same time speaks in the most intimate way in tiny bathrooms in Rwanda and right here in my heart in Danville. I love being His child.

Today, Jim would have been 55. Derek and I played golf yesterday on Father’s Day and chatted quite a bit about Jim. After 5 years, I can still cry on command at the mention of his name, but then I simply repeat Jesus, Jesus, Jesus and peace washes over me. God continues to reveal His power in my life through the lives of others, through the sound of His name and most importantly through His word. He rescues me and carries me.

I know God called Jim home when He did and not me for a reason…there is no doubt in my mind. My focus must be on all things eternal. In the midst of all that He teaches me daily, He teaches me this consistently above all else…I should be very loosely tied to this world. My time, talents and treasures should all be focused on what brings Him glory. Each day, that is a new surrender, but it gets easier all the time. Bringing Him glory, brings me joy.

God Speaks

I love the way God speaks to me. He speaks to me through people, circumstances, and His Spirit. I love the way He shows up in the most unlikely places, but most of all I love the way He speaks with such purpose.

Zach was in WV visiting his grandparents and cousins the last 2 weeks. He and I had been talking about getting him a car, but I really wasn't sure I wanted to get one anytime soon. However, last Saturday, I was driving in to town to run a few errands and felt compelled to pull in a dealership. I checked out a few cars knowing all the cars were overpriced and not sure why I was on the lot. Just then a young salesman walked out and we chatted a bit. We walked to the back of the lot and out of the corner of my eye I saw the car I was going to buy Zach. It was exactly what he was looking for and wasn't even on the salesman's list. I was certain God pulled me to the lot to take me to that car for Zach. It was exactly the make and model of what he was wanting and I was able to not only negotiate it down quite a bit to my price, but was able to witness to two guys on the lot. After writing the check for the car, I walked off with such a spring in my step...not only for the car Zach was getting, but for the way God ordains circumstances to reveal His care and concern for me. He speaks!

On Wednesday, I had lunch with my old boss that I had not seen since Jim died 5 years ago. We were catching up. It was very nice. In the midst of our conversation, he revealed something to me that may affect my future. His suggestion was perfectly in line with something that had been on my mind and it was even better than anything I was thinking. God reminded me that He is complete control of my future if I will only trust and continue to surrender completely to Him. I drove back to work completely amazed at His presence at that lunch. I was smiling from ear to ear and speechless. That what happens when He speaks.

He speaks in the midst of my purchases--big and small; He speaks while I munch on a salad; He speaks into my future; He speaks softly when I lay my head on my pillow and lulls me to sleep. I'm listening, Lord!

Looking Past me

How do I spend my time? How much eternal value is there in the things I do? Those are questions I've been pondering lately. As I listen to the newscasts reminisce about several public figures that recently died, I found myself intrigued by all the things people said about them. They talked about how good they were, the fond memories they had of then and the way they excelled at their careers. But I never heard anything of how they changed lives...how they focused on eternity...how they wanted others to know Jesus. The minute I die, nothing I did or have on earth will have any value unless I "store up treasures in heaven."

On Thursday, I spent spent my lunch time at a faith-based event meeting other people in full-time ministry and listening to a wonderful speaker from South Africa talk about how the AIDS crisis has made millions of orphans. He inspired me to not only think of the plight of those widows and orphans affected, but to continue to think way outside myself everyday. To look past Danville, past my ordinary life and to the things that break the heart of God. I want to stay focused on that.

Then later that same evening, I went downtown to hang out with some homeless young men. I ate dinner with them and listened to what was going on in their lives. As I was sitting out on the front porch of an old home in a rough section of town, I never felt more at home. I was comfortable. I was enjoying myself. I was touched by these beautiful lives that were fearfully and wonderfully made. I want them to know Jesus. I want them to know the comfort and guidance He can give in the midst of their most difficult circumstances. I want to go back and love them a little more.

I love to expose myself to a hurting world. It is far too easy for me to get comfortable going to work, coming home to make dinner, running down the road to shop and grab a Starbucks. I don't want to be comfortable. So I keep moving where I see a need and pray through God's purpose for me.

Derek is convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will be a full-time missionary someday. I'm not sure. I sense God's movement in a few other directions...I'll keep praying...keep listening...keep obeying in the small things...this will lead me exactly where He wants me. And this is where I'll find unending joy.

A Lesson in Obedience and Disobedience

My boys are far from perfect. But as they grow, I see Christ moving in their lives in ways they don’t even realize. It gives me such encouragement as a mom. I can’t make all their decisions or keep them out of all trouble…I don’t even want to. But I do want to give them the right foundation from which to build their life. As God guides me as a mother, I am convinced the best thing I can do for them is live it out in front of them.

I felt called to read the entire Bible in the month of May. I was excited about the prospect of committing over 3 hours a day for 31 days to Jesus. There were days when I could hardly put His Word down and others where I struggled to finish my 40 chapters. Sometimes the day would just get away from me. But I did it and the journey was phenomenal.

My greatest encourager was Derek. Every couple of days he would ask how it was going. He was so impressed. He would say things like, “Mom, I don’t even think most preachers have done this.” Or “So you haven’t missed a day yet?” A few days ago, we were discussing my time in God’s Word and I told him there’s really no place I’d rather be. He said, “Really, I would never know that…your Bible is covered in dust…no actually there’s skin oil all over your Bible ‘cause your face is always buried in it.”

I smiled at the fact that he has that indelible image. Last night as I was sitting in the room with Derek, I started reading the last few verses in Revelation out loud to him. He looked up and I said, “I just finished.” He smiled and gave me props. In time, I hope some of the stupid things I’ve done or said will fade away and he’ll remember most of all that his mama loved Jesus and spent a lot of time with Him.

God blesses obedience in ways I almost always see immediately and then it ripples throughout my family. I’m thankful for God’s wisdom as He shows me what He wants from me and ways to move my boys in the right direction.

Over a year ago, Derek and I were struggling with an issue and truly butted heads. I put my foot down and demanded that he do things my way. He just got angrier. Finally, God spoke to me about the concept of disobedience and asked that I teach Derek that lesson. So I told Derek he could proceed down the path he was going. I would not stop him. But I wanted him to know that it was in total disobedience to me. He was happy for a moment and then confused.

“So I can do it?” He asked

“Yes, but remember it’s in complete disobedience.”

“What does that mean?”

“You do it and find out.”

“Well what are you going to do to me?”

“I’m not going to do anything.”

He was perplexed, but went ahead with his plan thinking he'd won. He found out he was miserable. Knowing there was a chasm between us and that he didn’t have my blessing was too much for him to bear. He did a u-turn and headed in the right direction. He often talks about that time as a significant moment. I remind him that’s a small taste of disobedience to his Father.

It so good to have my Jesus!