Merry Christmas

Christmas keeps my perspective. I enjoy hanging out with my boys as we celebrate the birth of our Savior and just goofing off around the house after opening presents. But this year, the season has brought a different challenge for me. I’m working through the continued struggles of my suffering.

My biggest surprise related to my grief, by far, is how intense the pain can still be after 3 years. It’s a different kind of pain with a different kind of weight. So as I cry and pray through it, I immerse myself in the Word and look for a deeper understanding. I’m simply not content with the expression “it is what it is.”

God has entrusted me with this pain, therefore, He has something He wants me to learn from it. And I have learned a lot thus far. But I long to go deeper and crave a greater wisdom from my Lord. The other night as I crawled into bed, after a particularly difficult day, God spoke to me through Colossians 1:24. Paul felt privileged to “fill up my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions…” I meditated on this passage and read from Matthew Henry’s commentary where he said that “we do but slightly taste the cup of afflictions of which Christ first drank deeply.”

So I know that must take up my cross after the pattern of Jesus and carry it obediently and joyfully. Period. I have to work on this…I try, but quite often fail in this regard. But what better example can I be to others if I do not let the weight of my burden crush me? Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9...“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

So I must continue to live by what I know and not by how I feel. The pain can be debilitating at times and can make me respond totally outside my character. But then I breathe deeply and remember Who lives inside me and from where I get all my strength. And quite often I’m running on strength that is not my own.

I am so very thankful that God sent His Son to die on my behalf. He paved the way for me to stay eternally-focused and remember that my suffering is nothing compared to Christ’s and besides, this world is not my home…I’m just a passin’ through.

May God give you His peace on this wonderful and blessed day as we celebrate our Lord coming down out of His glory to become one of us. “Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift.”(2 Corinthians 9:15)

Friendships and Blessings

I almost never do back-to-back blogs, but sometimes the significant explodes and I’m compelled to share. A few months after my husband died, I decided to write a book about him for the boys. At one point during my writing, my eyes were opened to all that God was doing in my marriage to prepare me for his death. I stopped, lifted my fingers from the keyboard, and prayed to God that I would never see Him in my rearview mirror again. I wanted to see Him boldly every day from that day forward. And I have.

My words cannot express all the intricate ways God is weaving the tapestry of my life. I scare can take it in. Very often, He chooses in His abundant mercy to bless me in ways that make my heart want to explode. One of the ways He has done that is through a journey I’ve been taking with a dear, sweet friend of mine.

God has chosen to intersect my life with some pretty incredible people and I can never thank Him enough for my friends. One very, very special friend of mine is in the process of adopting a little girl from Ethiopia. Over the past week, she has been waiting anxiously for “the call”--the big call where she receives confirmation that the adoption was official and her travel dates are set. Well, she got that call yesterday afternoon. My heart truly burst with joy when I spoke with shortly after the call.

How often in our relationships have we nodded and said we were excited about something and then a few minutes later went about our business without it actually affecting us? We just go through the perfunctory nodding and head tilting and then move on. Yes, I stand guilty as charged. I’ve done that on occasion.

But not this time! I find my thoughts consumed by her joy as if it were my own. I am honored that God has intersected our lives and allowed me to share in this great journey of obedience with her. The blessing it has brought to me is incredible. I do not feel called in the area of adoption, but boy I am having a ball supporting my dear friend in her journey. I love to watch God work the lives of others as well as in my own.

I pray that God blesses her new daughter in a uniquely special way! She surely has one very special mama headed to pick her up. And I, for one, can’t wait to welcome her home!

41 Days In

When I felt called to immerse myself in God’s Word, particularly the Old Testament, by reading it all in 90 days, I was very excited at the prospect. But, to be honest, I wondered as I moved toward my goal if it would become a burden...a chore…a challenge that I just wasn’t up to. On average, my plan requires 15 chapters a day. For me, that’s a solid hour or more depending on how much I dig on any particular day.

Well, I’m 41 days in and I have to be very honest--it is life-changing. I have given up reading the newspaper, so I start my day reading a few chapters over breakfast, then a few more over lunch and then if I have plans for the evening, I have been known to read while making dinner. And I can’t begin to tell you the affect it has had on me to be in God’s Word constantly all day long.

Someone asked me late last week how my week was and I responded, “Very full. Not full with running around, but filled with Jesus.” I see Him in the most unexpected ways almost every single day. He fills me, encourages me and moves in ways I never would have imagined. And I’m convinced that being saturated by His Word for the last 41 days is a large part of His movement. I look so forward to my reading each day that I even read ahead on occasion.

Last night after I finished reading the bible by the fireplace, I went upstairs to our bonus room to catch up on some other reading. As I read, the boys were wrestling with each other. They were getting along better than ever. And have been for days. I laughed as I listened to my 85-pound second born, Zach, taunt his 160-pound brother. Derek had already proved he could whip him with just one hand. It was hysterical. And I made the mistake of saying at one point when Zach had Derek by the neck, “Be careful, Zach--don’t hurt your brother.” As soon as that came out of my mouth, we all laughed at how absurd that was. But of course Zach was all over that. He continued with the smack to his brother, “Did you hear that…yes, you heard right…I have to be careful not to hurt you!”

So, yes, I’m convinced, God’s living Word is rubbing off even on my boys’ behavior. Well...maybe that's just wishful thinking on the part of this optimistic mom.

No Sign No More

The unexpected seems to be the norm in my Walk. God moves and I think He’s headed in one direction and then I have to make a U-turn. He never changes His path for me, but I begin to see more clearly what He’s doing. It’s so much fun traveling with my Savior.

In July, right before heading to Africa, I felt a clear calling to put my house on the market. After a few months with little activity and no perspective buyers, I began to wonder what God was up to. So one afternoon in September as I was taking my walk in my neighborhood, I talked with God about His timing and purpose regarding the house. It was then that I heard His Spirit say to me, “I just wanted to see how quickly you would obey.”

I realized then it was not at all about selling my house, but about obedience. It was about choosing between holding on to a beautiful home with great sentimental value or putting my faith completely in my Lord. So I breathed deeply and smiled at this great teachable moment with Jesus. However, I left it in on the market and waited until I heard from Him to do otherwise.

Well, God moved in me today to make a very big financial decision and to surrender more and more of my ways to Him. And along with this decision, I felt the time was perfect to take the house off the market, so I called my Realtor today as well. As I approached the house this evening, I asked Zach, "See anything different about the house?" He fist pumped and said, "Yes, there's no sign in the yard." Many of the things God has been teaching me lately have all fallen neatly into place…they seemed unrelated months ago, but now are perfectly clear.

I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating over and over…obedience is the only way to live. I find peace and joy that knows no bounds by walking in sync with my Maker. Even when I divert and go Germaine’s way, He lovingly brings me back and folds my errors perfectly into His great plan. Oh, how I love Jesus!

My decisions often seem to go against conventional wisdom, but I don't care. As one of my favorite songs goes...I'm giving in to something heavenly.

Frosties and Cell Phones

I while back, our family made a commitment to claim the first Monday of each month to serve dinner at a homeless shelter for families. I look so forward to that time serving with my boys. Those evenings really help keep our perspective.

This past Monday, we all headed out to serve right after school. We stop at the same Wendy's on the way each month. I hate fast food, but acquiesce on these evenings just so we can spend more time together. I let them order anything they want, including big frosties. The bill came to $22 . My eyes popped. “How can 3 people spend $22 at a fast food joint?” They just smiled and said it must be the frosties that sent it over the top.

So we sat there and ate and joked around like we always do. After finishing my meal, I read to them from the 5th and 6th chapters in Galatians. I reminded them of how they need to live in the Spirit and not fall into the sins of the world. They nodded and seemed to get it, but Derek complained the whole time that he was getting brain freeze from his frosty, so who knows how many seeds were actually planted in that sweet little head of his.

As we chatted back and forth, the conversation of cell phones became a big discussion. They both hold on to their phones like they’re gold, play with them incessantly and complain that they need new ones. Well, a friend of mine had just sent me an e-mail about treating our bibles like we treat our cell phones, so I challenged them with a few questions:

1. What if you ran back to get your bible anytime you forgot it?
2. What if you flipped through your bible many times a day?
3. What if you used your bible so much, you wore it out and needed a new one every few months?

We talked about God’s Word being the center of their life like their cell phones. They got a bit red-faced and admitted that’s the way it’s supposed to be. When we were all done, Zach said, “Okay, I have an idea. If you get me a new bible, you can throw in a cell phone.” I think he missed the whole point! That kid...always with the jokes...I wonder where he got that from?

Being Mama

I spent several days over Thanksgiving visiting my family in West Virginia. It is always a blessed time to reconnect and catch up with everyone. Having our entire family all gathered at my mom’s just hanging out, drinking coffee and eating for 3 days is all good.

However, my most precious moments came from spending time with my 2 boys. It’s an 8-9 hour drive, so we often get a hotel to break up the trip. This time, we stayed at our favorite hotel going and coming. It has a mall and restaurants across the street and an indoor pool and hot tub. We love just chillin' and relaxin'.

We each do what we love to do when we get there. After shopping and eating, Zach and I sit in the hot tub or swim and Derek watches sports and talks to his girlfriend. He used to swim with us, but the girlfriend has trumped swimming with mommy and little brother. Then we all gather in the room—I read and they fight over the TV. But we have a ball nonetheless. We steal each other’s pillows, I send Derek on 20 errands for ice, tea bags, something from the car, etc until he's fried and Zach sits around just thinking up ways to pick on Derek and me. He thinks he’s so funny…we try not to encourage him.

As we ride in the car, hang out in the hotel or just grab a moment or two at the family gathering, we steal incredible intimate family time that is truly priceless. Mostly we act goofy and just plain out have lots of fun. There are moments of serious conversation and great dialogue, but we do most what we love to do more than anything—laugh!

I am particularly mindful, though, that our opportunities to spend time together like this are going to be fewer and fewer as Derek moves toward his post-graduation journey. So I hold onto this gift and pray that as we put Christ at the center, the bond will only get better.

As I approached Indy yesterday on the drive home, both boys were zonked out in their seats. I had a very quiet drive for a few hours. I turned off the radio and just prayed. I thanked God for all that He has done for us and most of all I thanked Him for the precious gift of my 2 sons. They fire me up; they make me howl with laughter; they bring me great joy, but most of all they allow me the chance to love them with all my heart and soul.

Next to being God’s disciple, I love being mom to Derek and Zach more than anything else. It makes me wonder…if I love being their mom that much, how much more does my Father in heaven love to love me?

Thanksgiving Poem

My joy is overflowing
As I live each day for Him
The sweetness of each new day
Fills me to the brim.

I find myself a humble servant
Waiting for His lead
And as I look to heaven
He pours on me all I need.

But when I stumble hard
And look away from His great reign
I fall face down and start anew
So I can give my all again.

What a wondrous Savior that I serve
And who knows me oh so well
He walks along and guides my path
And helps me lift my veil.

I find His love a hovering peace
That rests on me and dwells so deep
And as He smiles and draws me near
I’m urged to sow and also reap.

So I continue my journey and I long for more
A lot more of my Maker and a lot less of me
And His faithfulness helps me charge ahead
I can’t wait for tomorrow for my hope resides in Thee.

Thank you, Lord for grabbing me
Thank you, Lord for holding tight
Thank you, Lord for loving me
I love You back with all my might!

Skipping to the Mailbox

So often, God becomes so big in my life that I don’t know what else to do but skip. I’ve had some moments over the past few weeks where the enemy just grabbed a hold of me and tried to get me to bury myself in things that inhibit my pursuit of holiness.

However, God knows me so intimately and knows that sometimes whispers don’t always work; I see Him working and see where He is leading me, but on occasion just can’t get there. So God will show up with an exclamation point to remind me that He is still in charge and wants me to move along with Him.

And I love it. I love that he cares enough to create such a personal journey just for me. I was so filled this week. God gave me a front row seat to watching Him work in the lives of those around me; I was thankful for a job where I get to work with so many great people; I had delightful conversation and bible study with good friends and then spent all day Saturday with my dear friend who I hadn’t seen since we got back from Africa.

As I was driving home from spending the day with my friend, the rain was pouring and it was so dreary outside, but I was so sunny inside. I was thinking about the power of God’s presence in my life and by the time I got within a mile of my house, I shed tears of joy. I pulled into the garage, unloaded the pizza I picked up for dinner and then skipped all the way down the driveway to the mailbox. I couldn’t help myself. God was lifting me off the ground and I couldn’t keep my feet still.

I wanted to skip and dance and praise my Lord with the joy that filled my heart. Psalm 16:11 came to mind...“You will show me the path of life; In your presence is fullness and joy; At your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

If you love Jesus and He is moving in your life, skip to the mailbox or dance in the streets. Show your joy to the Almighty.

90 Days in The Word

Zach (my darling little freshman) and I often discuss on our drive to school what he’s learning in bible class. He is rolling through the Old Testament right now and said it’s his favorite class. He said Genesis and Exodus are “really cool books.” And I totally agree.

He quizzes me and asks particularly probing questions. Our conversations have renewed a desire in me to gain an even deeper understanding of the story of God’s chosen people, so I can give him not only the easy answer, but place it in greater context of the whole plan of redemption. I’ve read the Old Testament many times, but decided I wanted to do it with a different intensity. So I started an online study that puts all the events in perspective of God’s sovereignty and gives commentary from angles that never occurred to me.

The study has been refreshingly insightful and I wanted to read the bible along with the study at a much more aggressive pace to get full immersion. So I began a schedule to read the bible in 90 days. The Old Testament is 70 of those 90 days, so the bulk of my time will be spent there. And I can’t tell you how fired up I am. The more I dig into the stories and allow God’s Words to come alive in phenomenal new ways, the more He takes my breath away. The other night I had trouble going to bed. I wanted to keep reading and digging and making notes of verses jumping up off the page. But I succumbed to my droopy eyes and went night-night.

As I mention in my profile, I’d rather read than eat. I will actually begin to hyperventilate if I am finishing one book and another is not sitting in the wings. But there is nothing more exciting to me than pouring myself into God’s Book. And in His providence, I am reading a book by Jerry Bridges that is a great accompaniment to my bible study. It talks about growing in faith through the bible and prayer. And growing is my goal.

My 90-day plan is opening the eyes of my heart to all God is teaching me and His plan for my life. Digging deep is pure delight for me. Now as I dig, may I step up and live it out! I pray for God’s help in that regard.

Wasting Precious Hours

I'm so mad at myself! I strive very hard to live each day to the fullest. So there's nothing that bugs me more than allowing a 24-hour period to be wasted on something very trivial. Well, I did that earlier this week. And the worst part--it’s something I’ve done before—same issue, different day.

I allowed something that was ridiculously small to consume my thoughts and drag me down through the evening, into the night and for the better part of the next day. But through prayer and digging into God’s Word, I snapped out of it. The situation had not changed, but my perspective changed a full 360 degrees. And all of a sudden there was fresh air to breathe.

As a kid, did you every experience playing in the pool with friends and one of them held you under longer than you would have liked. You start to freak out and getting a breath just consumes you. But when you finally come up, it feels like the best gulp of air you’ve ever taken. That’s exactly how I felt. The air was great and I felt alive again. I may get down, but I’ll never be out as long as I’m a child of God.

And what bugged me even more was that I could just see the devil laughing the whole time—he got me again and knew that I had fallen for the same trap that he’s set many times before. But the good news is God pulled me out of my mess. I’m so very thankful for His patience and mercy!

On my desk at work, I have a quote that states, “Live your life in such away that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says…'Oh no…she’s awake.'” I’m gonna work hard to keep making him shudder…he had a break this week, but no more!

Words That Delight

Sometimes I’m just so filled I want to explode. God continues to overwhelm me. Each day does not bring with it sensational moments, but I find myself more and more present in each moment that is given to me. And all these moments bring joy to my day and opportunities for blessings.

Those who know me, know I love to laugh and tell stories. But most of all I love to share what Jesus and I have been working on together. When the end of the week arrives, I want to feel like I’ve not let too many opportunities go by to share my faith and move in the direction where He is pointing me. And with even this small level of obedience, God pours Himself into me until I can hardly contain myself. It is a phenomenal way to experience His Presence each day.

I mentioned a verse in the fourth chapter of 2 Corinthians in my last entry. As I read and meditated on this verse, God kept taking me to other verses in that same chapter. I know I’ve read it many times in my life, but at the moment the chapter is screaming at me. And I love it. So I am committing the whole chapter to memory. I’m only part way there at the moment, but I’ll have it done before long.

As I began to memorize this chapter, I was brought to 2 verses in Jeremiah about God’s Word. Jeremiah 15:16 sums up exactly how I feel. “When your words came, I ate them; they were pure joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, O Lord God Almighty.” I do want to just eat them up, because when I devour them, they make my heart want to sing.

There is no doubt in my mind that the reason for the joy that accompanies each day is a result of staying in God’s Word. He speaks to me and ignites something in me that is more powerful than I can imagine. Jeremiah 20:9 is the place I have reached “…his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones, I am weary of holding it in; Indeed, I cannot.”

I am here to tell you that His Word absorbed down to the marrow of my bones is the spring in my step and the song in my heart. And since I know this, why would I not want more of it and continue to make it “my heart’s delight?”

Well, gotta go. I’ve got more of chapter 4 to eat.

Unsuspecting Vessels

Last week was a particularly good week for the Lord and me. No one else would be the wiser, though. He did not bring huge visible blessings—there were no miraculous events that would wow my friends or create a stir. But He moved and stirred me. He brought clarity to some things and taught me more about His goodness. And I do need to be taught as often as possible.

It brings a smile to my face when I think of the people and circumstances God used last week. Every single person had no idea that they had been used. Obviously, no one is privy to the conversations that I have with my Maker every day. And they wouldn't know the touch points of my life that needed pushed to move me closer to Him. But He knows. So, in His sovereignty, he arranges the events of each hour and each day to bless little ole me. And I am so thankful for His grace and mercy that brings such goodness my way.

So if you sent me an encouraging e-mail, if you took the time to make a sweet comment, if you made me laugh 'til I almost peed my pants or if your path crossed mine and you blessed me in any way, I say THANK YOU. Please know that God was using you and He will do so in abundance if you open yourself up to Him.

My prayer each morning is a simple question, “God, where do you want me today?” I ask Him to use me and allow me to be a shining light for Him. So if you run into me anytime soon and you don’t see Him shining through, please let me know. I need your accountability as well as your encouragement.

The verse God brought to me yesterday is one I’ve committed to memory and hopefully it will sink in your hearts as well— 2 Corinthians 4:6 “For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.”

May you be a light for Jesus because of your knowledge of Him!!

p.s. I am attaching a picture of my 17-year old to this blog. It has nothing to do with the subject, but a dear friend of mine took his senior portraits and he is so incredibly handsome that I had to post it for all to see.

Life So Precious

Life is so precious. Yes, it is. I continue to grieve over my sweet friend who lost her battle with cancer last week. I know living down here and staying too close to this world will never allow me to heal and move more closely to God. So I step back and step up. I step up to a Higher Plain that allows me to see clearly through the lens of eternity. And living each day for eternity is truly the only way to live.

I often talk about living each day to its fullest and looking for Jesus everywhere. I am in the midst of a book about a phenomenal servant of God, Lilias Trotter, who saw Jesus every day in the details of life that is beyond anything I have ever known. She was born in 1853 into a life of great privilege, but left it all to give her life to showing Christ to the people of Algeria.

No matter the great odds that were against her, she saw the beauty of Jesus as she watched a bee spreading pollen or birds making their way as a faith lesson in dependence on God. Nothing escaped her as a way to experience Jesus more deeply and live life more fully as His servant. As I read about her relentless pursuit to spread the Good News and follow God's plan for her life, I find myself setting my goals even higher than ever before.

In Lilias fashion, I want to live in “triumphant gladness in having nothing but God.” I pray that He uses me more fully than I can even dream. And as I search more deeply to find ways to spread the love of Jesus, I hope to be even more intentional about my love and devotion to my boys. They do know how much I love them. As my youngest asks, “Mom, do you think you can go 5 minutes without touching or kissing me?” But I want to intensify my role as their teacher and give them a godly foundation, so when they’re on their own, they will have built their life on the Rock.

They are precious and life is precious. My friend’s triumphant entry into heaven this past week, gives me a great desire to live as if I may be called Home this very minute.

Unveiled and Startling

I recently finished a book titled It’s Never Too Late about living a life of obedience so you can fulfill your God-given purpose. The author shares his life story as he moved from the ruins of gangs and drugs to reaching God’s destiny for him as preacher and so much more.

He talked about holding on to God’s goodness regardless of your circumstances. He said that we have a responsibility to “be so submitted to God, so humble in God, so committed to God, and so in tune with His Spirit that blessings will start overtaking our lives to such an extent that the world will become jealous of what God is doing for us.”

So often I am asking God for clarification or great focus on an issue in my life. He often responds by telling me to go to Scripture and do what He has already called me to do. And through that reminder, I usually find my answer. He recently showed me once again through the author of this book that He is “looking for people who want to live overflowing lives, because those are the only kinds of people who will bless others when He blesses them.” I want to overflow and bless.

So I step back from situations that currently have a hold on me and remember that I am so blessed. I am so filled so often that I have an obligation to shine for Jesus without wavering and without hesitation. I am thankful that God is faithful and offers me so much grace to bring me back where to He wants me.

Toward the end of the book, the author asks the question, “When is the last time the glory of God shone from your life so much that it startled someone?” I hope I startle someone today!

And 2 Corinthians 3:18 brings this point home...“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

A Sense of Urgency

Tragedy lives right next door to all of us. I am in the midst of watching dear friends struggle against the vicious enemy of cancer, a young girl crumble under the weight of grief from the loss of her daddy, and many other struggles that I see almost daily as this fallen world brings great burdens to my friends and so many very good people.

It would be easy to fall into the trap of feeling bad and then a few minutes later going about my business of planning dinner and thinking about the weekend. But I can’t. I’m affected somewhere deep inside and I hurt for the pain that they must endure as they travel planet earth.

But I ask myself--what difference does it make to me? What will I do differently today when I am exposed in such intimate ways with such tragedy on a regular basis? I have found that it creates in me a great sense of urgency. In my pursuit of Jesus and His will for my life, it is not enough anymore just to take a casual approach to His leading. I must intensify my desire to make Him the center of each day and each hour of my life.

And that renewed sense of passion brings about an excitement that knows no bounds. I love to love Jesus and I look so forward to what He has in store for me. I want to pursue a life with Him in such a way that nothing but full surrender will do. Worldly desires and materialistic goals no longer have a hold on me and it is a wonderful freedom that comes only in this urgent desire to find Him in every crevice of my day.

So I’ll not start looking tomorrow or in just a minute, I’m looking right now. I want to see Jesus in the face of my sons, in the drive in the morning to work, in my kitchen at dinner time and in my quiet hours of evening. And you know what? I’ve found He never disappoints. He shows up and blesses me immensely for my obedience to Him.

May God create in all of us an urgency to see Him more fully—starting right now!

And He Heard Me

I recently finished my book that describes my journey since the death of my husband 3 years ago. I can, at this point, easily write about where I’ve been and what God has done for me without great pain. The joy of Jesus far outweighs the burden of my loss.

However, the pain still lurks. The only way I know to describe it is that the monster never sleeps. The pain is always looking for a way to escape and so I just learn to live with it. And I never know when it’s going to get the best of me. Sometimes that’s frustrating. I can just be tooling along and having a good time in life and then bam! It strikes. It used to sneak up on me, but I got onto its little tactics. Now it’ll just attach to something that is already bothering me and the next thing I know, I’m on my knees.

It’s hard, but it’s the “thorn” (2 Cor. 12:7-10) that God has given me to keep me close to Him. I’m okay with it, but sometimes I just gets tired. I have found my joy-filled life comes by being completely present in the simplest moments that occur each day. And sometimes they truly are just moments. It may be an inside joke or great conversation with my youngest son on the way to school. It may be sharing a goofy story with someone at work. It may be the checkout person who seems particularly happy and shares her enthusiasm with me. It may be a few minutes with someone who wants to share what God is doing. All these small things make my day worth living. And I go looking for them each morning.

Big stuff still happens to me and God is moving in profound ways, but each day is filled with all kinds of little glories if I am intentional about finding them. And when I’m down and the monster strikes, I find great comfort in knowing that…”In my distress I cried to the Lord and he heard me.” (Psalm 120:1 nkjv) Sometimes I need to be reminded that He hears me. When no one else is around and I am all alone, the Creator of the universe is never too busy...He stands ready and waiting as if I'm the only one He has on His agenda for the day..."and he heard me."

Smelling Like Jesus

I was recently browsing the blog of a friend and came across an entry where she spoke of “smelling like Jesus.” She was referring to 2 Corinthians 2:14-16. I looked up these 3 verses and was blown away. I love when I read God’s Word and it becomes so powerful that the words jump up and start doing a jig all over the page. And the words, “For we are to God the aroma of Christ…” (v. 15) became an intense focus for me over the last 10 days.

I committed the verses to memory and began to think about what it really means to have God work through me to “spread everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him.” (v. 14) Wow! I know, as a believer, I am a vessel to be used by Him, but how can I change who I am right now so I can truly spread His fragrance?

I have found that God does not make suggestions or requests in His Word. It's a book of declarations and requirements--we are to be like Him in all we do and all we say. So I’ve prayed about areas where I can step it up. My pastor posed a question yesterday in his sermon..."What is it like to be on the other side of me?" This is a great gauge for me to assess the "fragrance" that I'm spreading. When someone is standing on the other side of me, do they see compassion...generosity...humility...joy...do they smell Jesus?

So each night as the sun goes down, I'm gonna make a point to assess my reflection to others. I know I have a lot of work to do, but thankfully due to God's grace I ain't where I was. I'll keep working and He’ll keep carrying me. And maybe, each day, I'll start smelling a little less like me and lot more like Him.

Meeting Jesus on the Lake

I had the pleasure of spending 4 fun-packed days with great friends at a camp in southern Indiana this past weekend. I have always loved being on the water more than being in the water. And I got to do lots of that last weekend. I spent quite a bit of time in a kayak on the lake.

On Sunday afternoon, Jesus was there waiting for me. It’s always amazing to me how He meets me and astounds me in the most incredible ways. His goal is always to draw me closer to Him and help me gain a greater passion to love Him more deeply. And when He reveals how an area of my life from many years prior is now perfectly fitting into His plan for me…well, that is all the more confounding and beautiful.

My favorite Christian group used to be Point of Grace. About 10 years ago while living in Nashville, TN, I listened to them all the time and bought every CD the minute it came out. I would crank it up and get lost in their music message on my way to work most mornings. By far, my favorite song was God Forbid. To this day, it is still one of my all-time favorites.

The song talks about our casual approach to a God who is “beyond my understanding; no less than everything” as they sing in the last refrain. The chorus goes like this:

God forbid, that I find you so familiar
That I think of you as less than who you are
God forbid, that I should speak of you at all
Without a humble reverence in my heart
God Forbid

I remember thinking back then how I would love to get to a place where just the sound of His name would give me chills and bring me to my knees. But I was not there. As a matter of fact, I was far from there. But that was my heart’s desire.

Well, Sunday afternoon as I was gliding along the lake in my kayak and taking in God’s glorious creation, He showed up and spoke to my heart. I was just repeating, “Jesus, oh, Jesus” softly as I rowed along. Each time I said His name, I could feel my insides burning and my throat choking closed. I was weak. I humbled myself before Him and continued to say, “Jesus, oh, Jesus.” And then I wept.

As I continued along, God reminded me of my time in Nashville when I craved to be a person so dependent upon Him and so in love with Him that it created a “humble reverence in my heart.” He said to me, “My child, you are there.”

The encounter was so powerful and so intimate that by the time I lay my head on my pillow that night all I could do was sob. I needed to release the emotion of my encounter with Jesus on the lake.

My goal is that I not only continue as His humble child, but that I always get weak in the knees simply at the sound of His name.

Jesus, oh, Jesus!

Bringing Africa to Danville

God revealed Himself to me while in Tanzania in very intimate ways. His presence was so full and He renewed areas where He wanted me to become more passionate on a daily basis. As I continue to listen to God, His leading is guiding me to new areas of concentration in my spiritual life.

As I settle back into life, I continue to struggle in several areas. I feel a new excitement to live more fully for Jesus, but I am still fighting a few issues of unrest that won't quite settle down. But I will continue to focus each day on my Maker and He will get me to where He wants me to be.

So what did I learn in Africa that God clearly wants me to bring back to Danville? Here are just a few things that were pressed on my heart:

1. As I worshiped the same God half way around the world, it became very personal to me that God is SO big and we are small. And I can have an impact where ever I go if I just follow Him.


2. The magnificence of His beauty that He shared with me in Babati and on the safari gave me taste of heaven. I know I need to stay even more eternally focused.


3. Spiritual poverty is far worse than economic poverty--I'd rather be homeless with Jesus than alone in a mansion.


4. My mission trip was much less about the mission itself and much more about what God wanted to teach me.


5. There is nothing more powerful than a personal testimony, even on another continent.


6. My leftovers can change lives--$20/month can give a young child hope; 18 days out of 365 allowed me to join in God's work and have a small impact; my paint-splattered clothing I left behind will be scooped up by locals. Imagine if we all gave our best every day.


7. My lives intersected with certain people in Tanzania for a purpose...I'll wait to see what God reveals.


8. There continues to be no greater joy in my spiritual life than obedience. Obeying God by stepping on that plane to Tanzania is just the start of many more blessings to come.

God showed up big time and challenged me to live more completely for Him every single day back here in Danville. He stirred something deep within that had never been touched. Things are still percolating as I move to serve God and He is still revealing His will to me...

Peace.

A few pics from Tanzania

Coming Home

I've been back in the states for almost 2 weeks and believe I'm finally adjusting into "normal" life again. The experience of joining God's work in Tanzania was so overwhelming and touched me so deeply that I had trouble getting my head back into things when I returned on Aug. 11.

I expected to be walking on air and ready to share about the trip with anyone who'd listen, but that wasn't the case. I had a magnificent time decompressing from the mission work by going on a 2-day safari and doing a bit of souvenir shopping. I thought that would be more than enough to prepare me for my arrival home. But it was not.

The trip was so deeply moving that I had a ton of mixed emotions to sort through my first week back. I was here in body, but my heart was still in Africa. I wanted to be here, since I missed my boys terribly, but I couldn't get my mind to refocus. So I prayed. I asked God to help me sort through all that He taught me and how He wanted me to be different as a result.

He did begin to clarify things by the second week and I am settling into my life that He lead so beautifully before I left for Africa. He reminded me that my place was here--my mission field is Danville, IN and He is requiring a greater intensity in my efforts to advance His kingdom. God clearly asked me to bring Africa to Danville and share my testimony in a way that will challenge others to live more fully for Him.

I will continue to listen...there is so much that is beginning to fall in place and other seeds that God is planting...I'll keep you posted on how things continue to play out for me.

For all those who encouraged me and prayed for me--I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Munguawabariki! (God bless you all)

Our work is done...God is just beginning

Today was our last day of work. I was a hard day, but good. We finished all the desks we were assembling and then put mesh and wire on all the windows of the bathrooms to keep mosquitoes out. That was tough work. I did most of the mesh and then one of the guys came behind and did the chicken wire over top. I did well up until the last of 14 windows when I came down hard with the hammer and slammed into my finger. I almost jumped off the ladder in pain. But this too shall pass!

I continue to have the opportunity to deepen relationships with my team and teachers at the school. I had particularly special relationships with two—Jeremiah (who I said good-bye to on Saturday) and Kitomari (a math and science teacher in the primary school.) Kito and I talked quite a bit today at lunch. He was so inquisitive about the US—everything from politics to racial issues to freedom of religion. It was great conversation. Early in our relationship, I was able to share my testimony with him and we both talked about our faith. It was so awesome. I can’t describe the feeling of sharing my faith and worshiping with people half way around the world. It is truly indescribable! The world seems so small at times.

I’m looking forward to our time tomorrow as we have a celebration lunch with all the teachers and students. It will be our chance to say good-bye. Afterward, we will tour through the town of Babati where we have been staying for 1 ½ weeks. We drive through it all the time to get to the school, but have never gotten out to visit. It is the picture of devastation as young children and adults just wander the streets. The stores are so dilapidated and run down. It is surely a third world town.

Thursday and Friday we head on a safari and then shopping in Arusha on Saturday. Sunday we will attend a local church service and then unwind at our hotel before heading off to the airport later in the afternoon.

Each evening, I try to just pour my heart out in a blog without much review of what I’ve written. Sometimes I’m simply overwhelmed when I reflect on all the ways I’ve seen Jesus here in Tanzania. I can’t do justice to Him and how He has been moving in a short blog. But rest assured He is fully present in my life and growing in boldness and might. I am so excited to be His child and love how He chooses to work in my life. He is so good and so powerful, yet so incredibly intimate. Blessed be His name!!

May God bless you and keep you! See you soon.

God is great and God is good--Every day!

It was a really nice day of work. We’ve accomplished so much in 6 days. And tomorrow is our last work day. We have a celebration lunch on Wednesday at the school, so everyone can say good-bye and then Thursday and Friday we head off on our safari. As hard as we work, though, I don’t feel a bit tired in the evenings. I’m actually rejuvenated at the end of the day. It is funny, but when you’re working for Jesus, it doesn’t seem like work at all.

I was so thrilled and thankful this morning. There has been something on my mind the last few days and I really prayed earnestly about it last night. God answered my prayer in a really powerful way first thing this morning. I thanked Him all day. It is simply so much fun to watch God work. It moves me to tears to see Him answer prayers, move in my life and explode in ways I never thought possible. This trip is continued confirmation that God has big things planned for me and as long as I continue to trust and obey, my faith will be rewarded. And hope in God never disappoints…Romans 5:5 tells us that “hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by Holy Spirit…”

Last night we had more wonderful discussions as we deepened relationships. We talked about how exciting it is to have God at the center of your life and living that way really eliminates bad days for the most part. It doesn’t mean difficulties don’t come your way, but knowing Who is in control and that He is working for your good regardless of what is happening at the moment keeps everything in perspective. We also talked about poverty and what the real definition of it is. As a Westerner, it’s easy to compare everyone to our way of living, but God created each child here in Babati for a purpose and loves them just the same as me. So why do I think very few clothes or living with several generations of family or walking all day for water is a bad thing…through our discussions I began to change my views just slightly…we blurred the lines, but we surely didn’t define them. We did come to one absolute—the most important thing above all else is spiritual nourishment, because even in the most desolate circumstances, God can protect, heal, comfort and change lives.

Yes, God is good and He is working in fabulous ways in my life whether here in Babati, Tanzania or in Danville, In. I am so thankful that He calls me His child and he continues to guide me, to teach me, to protect me and most importantly to draw me closer to Him.

Bwana Asifiwe! (Praise the Lord)

Children, Canoes and Hippos

What an incredible way to spend a Sunday. We joined the children for their Sunday service this morning over at the school. Every where we go, we are so welcomed and appreciated. It is a wonderful feeling. We listened to the children’s choir sing and then the preacher spoke from Isaiah. He spoke almost exclusively in Swahili. Sometimes we get an interpreter and sometimes not. Today there was none, so I had to concentrate hard to pick up a few words. But I could still feel the Spirit. There is something so powerful about worshiping the same God half way around the world. At the end of the service, everyone forms a line and you shake hands down the line and then step to the end. After everyone does that, you will shake hands with everyone who attended service. It was a very nice touch.

We had a wonderful Indian lunch after coming home. It was catered by one of the teachers at the school. We eat so much and so many different things here. Yesterday, we had Antelope for dinner. It was fixed like roast beef. It was incredibly tender and simply delightful. For breakfast this morning, we had warthog ham. It, too, was delicious. I will say that I’ve had my fill of white rice. We have it every single day in one way or another, but other than that, I thoroughly enjoy all the meals.

This afternoon we had a wonderful, peaceful canoe ride across Lake Babati looking for hippopotamuses. The canoes were made from a dug out fig tree. I love being out on the water and it was great to be in the canoes and enjoy the beauty of God’s creation. We did see 6 hippos—2 big ones and 4 babies. We had to stay at a distance, because they are dangerous in the wild. But the scenery was great. And we topped it off after we returned to shore with a traditional African dance. I joined in the dance and had a fun time.

When we arrived at the lake, there were a lot of families and a ton of kids down near the water washing clothes and hanging out. These are just local families and the devastation of the poverty never gets old with me. Seeing the kids in filthy rags, playing in mud and dirt is so hard on my heart. I believe God has sent me here partly to get my heart broken and bring the message back to my mission field, Danville, IN. How that plays out…well…I’ll have to wait on the Lord…

Well, we are getting ready to eat dinner. Kelli has made homemade pizzas tonight. What a treat. I can’t wait. I look forward to after dinner discussions as I deepen relationships, laugh and encourage one another.

How great is our God! I see Him, I feel Him, and I love Him with all my heart!!

The Village

Today I had the opportunity to get more deeply immersed in the Tanzanian culture. We traveled about an hour to the village of Kiru for a Children of Promise meeting. This organization’s primary mission is to spiritually feed the poorest of the poor in the region. Through the sponsorship of people in the states, these kids get their education paid for, other supplies and the financial support they need to help make a difference in their lives and others.

All the children being sponsored in this village, came together to exchange letters their sponsors had sent and allow those in charge of the program to touch base with them and their parents. The kids sang for us, we gave them blankets and then as we waited for lunch to be served. As we waited, 3 of us ladies gathered in large circle with many of the kids and sang songs with them. We would alternate between English and Swahili songs. They laughed and really seemed to enjoy the singing and interaction with us. They are so fascinated with white people. It was truly a joyous time.

I eat very well here and certainly will have put on a few pounds when I return. Breakfast and dinner is always at our missionary’s home (and it is fabulous), but lunch is always authentic Tanzanian food. It is good, but they eat the same thing almost everyday--rice, a stew to pour over the rice and a veggie of sorts. Today, they killed the goat shortly before we arrived as the hide was still hanging in the tree. And they don’t waste a thing when making the stew—the stomach, intestines, veins and all go in the stew. It takes a bit of getting used to, but that’s how they eat. Bananas are very prevalent here and we have them at almost every lunch. They are very small, but with pretty much the same texture as the ones in the states. I like the food, but sometimes I must tread with caution on certain dishes, because once you take it, it’s highly offensive not to eat it all.

After being in country for over a week, I still cannot get used to the grotesque poverty that exits here. The horrendous shacks that serve as homes, no running water, and small children (5-7 years old) carrying and caring for their younger siblings. The filth and what would appear as disgustingly unsanitary conditions are simply a way of life.

I can only do a small part to help, so I have decided to support a 4 year old boy from Kiru. I also plan to add to the standard support, so he can get a private Christian education at Aldersgate rather than a government education which is not so good here. As Mother Teresa often said, “We can’t do great things, but only small things with great love.” So helping one young boy by giving him a chance at hope with an education and by making God’s Word a part of his life will at least make a difference to him. I am so thankful that I have been blessed with the resources to help. Thanks be to God!

I will miss my rafiki (friend) Jeremiah. I had to say goodbye to him today. We talked a lot over the past week and I got to know him on a very personal level. He is a special man working hard to please God and follow the plan He has laid out for him. Kiru is Jeremiah’s village, so it was particularly special for me to visit and sponsor a child from there.

What an incredible blessing it has been thus far. I have not the words to describe. I miss my boys terribly, but stay focused completely on my time here. I don’t want to miss a single thing that God has waiting for me, because I’m preoccupied. And it is easy to be fully immersed. I feel at home here without a doubt.

Peace.

Preaching the Word

It is so hard to believe that I have been in Tanzania for 1 week. Each day is packed with lessons from God, blessings from the students and teachers and pure joy. I can’t wait each day to get started to see where Jesus shows up. I am being “transformed by the little glories of each day” as Amy Carmichael so often prayed. And the added bonus is that these wonderful daily glories are occurring on the continent of Africa, half a world away from where I call home. I am amazed at the goodness of the Lord. He shows up to teach, strengthen, guide and confound me in ways I never thought possible. Blessed be His name!

Today was another phenomenal day with Jesus. I suppose the word got out a bit after I taught bible class yesterday, so they asked me to preach at the Chapel service for the primary school students and teachers. I love sharing God’s Word more than anything else in the world. I had the opportunity to go through the salvation story with them, remind them they were a child of God and made in His image and then impress upon them that God’s Word is to be lived out by obeying Him and giving Him praise no matter the circumstances. I ended with them repeating the phrase, “Even when I’m having a bad day, God is still good.” It was without a doubt the highlight of my day. I am so blessed that God sees fit to use me in even the smallest way clear over here in Tanzania.

There continues to be great interaction with the children. They are so thrilled with a digital camera. I take there picture and then immediately show it to them. Few of them have mirrors, so they never get to see themselves. It is so much fun to let them gather around. They will line up just to see their picture. But the excitement is not limited to kids. There is this tiny shop on the school grounds that sells sodas and such. It seems to be the gathering place. I took a picture of 2 secondary school teachers from a distance and when they saw what I did they got so tickled and beckoned me over. They wanted more pictures and their faces just lit up with joy.

The evenings continue to be a wonderful ending to a great day. We eat wonderfully, blessed meals and then do devotions. Afterward, we continue to chat and deepen relationships. And then when 11pm comes, I am zonked. I sleep with a mosquito net around my bed to avoid bites and malaria and ear plugs to keep out all the sounds of dogs, chickens and other noises from the town. It works. I have been sleeping so soundly and awaken refreshed and ready to take on the day.

Tomorrow we are visiting a village an hour away and attending a church service. I’m so looking forward to being more fully immersed in the culture. It should be an exciting day. And it will be nice to have a day off of work.

Peace to all of you. Thank you so much for your continued prayers and your love.

It's All About Jesus

Yesterday was wonderful and so filling. I continue to deepen relationships with our team and enjoy all the familiarity of the people on the 12-acre school. As we were cleaning up at the site to leave for the day, I spent time with 4-year old Baraka. He was so precious and I enjoyed his smile and taking his picture. I can’t do just in words in how the children affect me. They hug and gather and follow me as I pass through from one building to another. It is so refreshing to feel such innocent love. It is so unconditional and so joyful.

We also spent time with a few distinctive local people yesterday. “Grandfather Egg” came in the morning and our missionary hostess, Kelli bought eggs from him. We spent 30 minutes talking to him just to buy 14 eggs. That is the culture here. You don’t just say leave them at the door and bill me. You talk and spend time as part of the exchange. The same thing was true for the lady who came to the house with homemade baskets. The approach is all about connecting and showing respect, not just making a purchase. You must slow down and experience things that we act so flippantly toward in the states. But that’s the culture.

Today was beyond fabulous! I am learning so much about the culture and working hard on my Swahili. Each day I learn a few new words and love the language. It has helped tremendously that I studied it a month before arrive. It made a huge impact on being able to connect with the folks here. They feel like I respect there culture by spending time learning their language.

The greatest part of my day today was teaching bible class at the school. I take a break from the work site to interact with the head master, teachers and other missionaries. I get so filled that way. I had planned to sit in on a bible class and then the principal asked if I would just come on in and teach, so I did. I was in heaven. Opening God’s Word and sharing and teaching a class filled with 6th graders was a glorious time for me. Well, the word got out and tomorrow I am teaching a 7th grade class. In addition, they’ve asked me to preach at Chapel. So tonight after I got home, I had to prepare devotions for the team, notes for teaching tomorrow and notes for my talk at Chapel. I will pray tonight that I glorify God with my words and my teaching and testimony may get others as excited about Jesus as I am. Oh, it is so good to be in Tanzania.

And us girls left the work site at the school a bit early today to attend a women’s bible study. It is so incredible to be half way around the world and be worshiping the same God with the same bible just in a different language. The church was so filled with the Holy Spirit and I truly felt lifted in a huge way. What an experience!

I continue to share my testimony and enjoy the intimate conversations with different teachers at the school. Today, Kito (one of the teachers) had such a deep dialogue about God working and moving in our lives. It was thrilling and I can’t wait to see how Jesus shows up each day in terms of who He puts in my path and where He leads. Oh, it is so much fun to what Him move.

Munguawabariki (God bless you all!)

Relationships

I feel like I’m right at home here. It’s only day 2 on the work site, but as I walk through the compound where the school is located I already see so many familiar faces. Everyone is so incredibly friendly and I stop for hugs, big smiles, laughter and sharing. It is such a great feeling. I don’t know how much more God can pack in to another 14 days. But I can’t wait to see.

Today we worked until we thought we’d drop. We all said the highlight of our day was seeing our missionary host, Ben, drive up in the Land Rover to take us back home. But it is so worth it. As I look into the beautiful faces of the kids at the school and know I’m a tiny part of God’ plan to give more of these precious ones a Christian education…well…all of a sudden, then, I feel like I’m walking on clouds. I’m outside myself with joy.

One little boy came up to give me a hug today. He looked at me with such an incredible amount of love and delight that I immediately thought that’s how Jesus will look at me when I get to heaven. He will smile so big and say, “I’m so glad to see you.” That picture stayed with me all day. Oh, how blessed I am.

It is so hard to pack the highlights of the day in a few paragraphs…there are so many moments…so much joy…so many blessings…Jesus is everywhere. I have connected with a lady who actually likes to laugh more than me. We laughed so hard at lunch today that I thought my entire insides were going to pop. Our team has certainly been picked by God. And I love to build relationships…God know that, so He steps in and is wonderful enough to bless me in ways that are so meaningful…He is SO good to me.

After killing over at lunch with joy and laughter, I had the opportunity to connect in a deep way with Pastor Jeremiah. What an incredibly, godly man he is. We talked at length about our Walk and how God is moving in our lives. He shared how God has allowed him to gain an education that he never dreamed was possible and in every sentence he speaks of such sincerity in giving all the glory to God. He is hoping to graduate in just over a year after furthering his education and plant a church in a town of almost entirely Muslims…what a story he has and how inspiring he was to me.

My heart is bursting…I look so forward to every aspect of the day. After we get home, I shower, do some quite devotions and then join our missionary hostess and 3 other ladies in the kitchen as they prepare dinner. We share, sing hymns and cook dinner…well, I watch and talk…they cook. But we all share and the company is so uplifting. And boy, do we eat well here. Oh, my goodness…I’ll add 20 lbs before returning. We have true Tanzanian food for lunch at the school and then are blessed with an incredible meal, dessert and coffee each evening.

Please continue to pray that I’ll remain God’s humble servant and allow Him to use me in the most complete way. I want no part of Germaine’s plan…I want to live sold out to Him.

May He be gloried in all I do. Signing off in Babati, Tanzania.

Peace.

The School

Wow, what an incredible day! We drove over to the Christian school today and toured the classrooms and dorms before getting started with our work for the day. This school is one of the top schools in the country, but is incredible primitive by Western standards. Oh, but the people are incredibly warm and very relationship driven.

We were treated like honored guests as we met the teachers and the Head Master of the primary school. He asked us to sit at his desk and sign his visitors book. His enthusiasm for teaching and changing the lives of young kids was uplifting and inspiring.

And the kids...the were the highlight of my day!!! They rushed toward me as we toured and surrounded me just to touch my face and hair. Their faces were like beacons in an otherwise barren and desolate country. The love of Jesus was so evident. I was in heaven! I took their pictures and then showed it to them on the camera and you would have thought God just dropped a piece of heaven down for them. They were so thrilled and just hung on to me as I tried to catch up with my group. I can assure you I will be spending more and more time with them. They were the most precious faces I've ever seen.

After out tour we were off to work on the new dorm. Our task for the week is to clean mortar off toilet stalls, sand and paint later in the week. You would think it just a bit crazy to spend thousands of dollars to fly half way around the world to work on bathrooms...but it is surely so much more. We had a ball serving Jesus today. We laughed until I cried and enjoyed every single moment. I suspect tomorrow I'll be a bit sore from the hard day of scraping, sanding and breathing in tons of dust, but I have no worries. I am loving life.

As I did devotions last night, God brought me to Psalm 113...v7 says, "He raises the poor out of the dust and lifts the needy out of the ash heap..." It reminded me that we are all blessed to be called children of God regardless of our economic circumstances...He loves us all the same. And verse 3 reminds us that we are to praise the name of the Lord "from the rising of the sun to its going down."

I'm looking forward to seeing where God shows up tomorrow. I hope to actually sleep tonight. I am living proof that it is possible to function with energy after 3 days of almost no sleep. For some reason, I can't sleep at night. But as the sun comes up and the cock crows, I bounce out of bed as if I had slept for days...my strength is not my own.

Well, must sign off...I type very quickly without review. Just hanging out on the Internet typing eats up a lot of my available usage for the day.

Peace to all of you. May God bless you richly. I know He is showing Himself so powerfully to me and it's only my 2nd full day in Tanzania.

Yep, I made it

Whew, 28 hours after departure, I arrived in Tanzania safely. Thank you, Jesus. I must say flying to Africa is not for the faint of heart. It's a long time in the air. I had it all planned out though, I'd read, chat and then take an Ambien to doze off until we landed. Well, I had never taken Ambien so I took one on the flight from Washington, D.C. to London and didn't sleep it off. And my system did not like it. I arrived at Heathrow sick to my stomach and dizzy. I can't even remember our 4-hour layover in the airport. Everyone was laughing at me, because I was wobbling as trudged through the airport and waiting in line for our boarding pass to Kenya. But that all passed and when we landed in Tanzania about 4pm Indy time, I wanted to kiss the ground.

We got our visas and headed to pick up our luggage, but the airline had other plans and left it in Kenya. So we headed on to Arusha (about an hour from the airport) and our luggage arrived the next day. We were so thrilled. Again, thank you, Jesus. We ate lunch and headed off on the 2 1/2 hour drive to Babati. What an experience! For over an hour we were on paved roads and then headed on to the worst, bumpy dirt roads I have every experienced. But we were blessed to have such wonderful hosts and had great conversation on the way.

I absorbed the country and will talk more about the people as I move through the week. But, wow, the poverty and horrible surroundings bring such pause to my comfortable, excessive lifestyle. It is hard to imagine that people live in such conditions. But they do and smile all the while.

So I am here staying in a little hut at our missionary host's compound. I have had about 8 hours sleep in the last 36 hours, so I have no idea how this blog will sound...it is around 10 pm and I'm about the fall over. Tomorrow we get up and begin work on the school. We are sanding, painting and getting the dorm ready for final stage. I'm looking so forward to serving and seeing where God shows up.

Derek and Zach, it was good to hear your voice earlier this evening. I was so restless not having talked to you. But I'm glad you got my text.

Peace to everyone. Thank you for your prayers and support. Goodnight!

God is on the move

Our God is SO big. He moves in bold ways that continue to amaze me and confound me. I never expected Him to make such a huge presence right before I left for Africa, but He did. He has been teaching me to love Him more deeply by following His leading in most unexpected ways.

I felt a clear and convincing calling a few days ago to sell our large, beautiful house and downsize. This would allow me to be debt free with more freedom with God's money to advance His Kingdom. So we now have a For Sale sign in our yard. I am excited to follow His direction and go deeper with my Lord and Savior.

In addition, my youngest son, Zach, has made the decision to attend a private Christian school for his high school education. I am thrilled at his desire to integrate biblical principles with his schooling. Two days ago, he submitted his application and was accepted to Covenant Christian School. He is now more excited than ever about school. This fits perfectly together with God's direction for our lives...a better use of His money than tying it up in an excessively large home.

These 2 major decisions culminated in the past few days right before my departure to Africa. I had a few moments this week where I felt I had reached capacity, but there is great peace in obedience. I have never felt better about my relationship with my Maker and am so thankful for how He continues to bless the boys and me.

Blessed be His Name!!!

Why Tanzania?

Many people have asked why I'm going to Tanzania, Africa...well, it's pretty simple. God said. I had no plans to go on a mission trip this summer let alone leave my boys for 18 days and travel have way around the world to the continent of Africa with a church and people I didn't know.



But God had other plans. He led me in a very clear and convincing way that this was His plan for me. Every time I put up an obstacle, He removed it. He showed me that serving Him was the most important thing I could do not only this summer, but every single day. He said, "Trust Me and follow Me." So I am.



I must say that I had to work through some typical fleshy anxieties regarding leaving the boys, having them be at peace, arriving home the night before they start school and financing an expensive, unbudgeted trip. But God simply kicked every obstacle out of the way. He always does. When I choose obedience over self-interest, I am rewarded beyond anything I can imagine and crave the joy of following Him even more. Obedience quickly becomes an addictive way of life.



So on the 25th, I'm off to help build a dorm for a Christian school and build relationships with local folks through worship services and daily interaction. At the end of the mission trip, I'm gonna have a little R&R with a 2-day safari. I'm so thrilled to be serving Jesus and hopefully in some small way He will use me to show His love to others.