And He Heard Me

I recently finished my book that describes my journey since the death of my husband 3 years ago. I can, at this point, easily write about where I’ve been and what God has done for me without great pain. The joy of Jesus far outweighs the burden of my loss.

However, the pain still lurks. The only way I know to describe it is that the monster never sleeps. The pain is always looking for a way to escape and so I just learn to live with it. And I never know when it’s going to get the best of me. Sometimes that’s frustrating. I can just be tooling along and having a good time in life and then bam! It strikes. It used to sneak up on me, but I got onto its little tactics. Now it’ll just attach to something that is already bothering me and the next thing I know, I’m on my knees.

It’s hard, but it’s the “thorn” (2 Cor. 12:7-10) that God has given me to keep me close to Him. I’m okay with it, but sometimes I just gets tired. I have found my joy-filled life comes by being completely present in the simplest moments that occur each day. And sometimes they truly are just moments. It may be an inside joke or great conversation with my youngest son on the way to school. It may be sharing a goofy story with someone at work. It may be the checkout person who seems particularly happy and shares her enthusiasm with me. It may be a few minutes with someone who wants to share what God is doing. All these small things make my day worth living. And I go looking for them each morning.

Big stuff still happens to me and God is moving in profound ways, but each day is filled with all kinds of little glories if I am intentional about finding them. And when I’m down and the monster strikes, I find great comfort in knowing that…”In my distress I cried to the Lord and he heard me.” (Psalm 120:1 nkjv) Sometimes I need to be reminded that He hears me. When no one else is around and I am all alone, the Creator of the universe is never too busy...He stands ready and waiting as if I'm the only one He has on His agenda for the day..."and he heard me."