My joy is overflowing
As I live each day for Him
The sweetness of each new day
Fills me to the brim.
I find myself a humble servant
Waiting for His lead
And as I look to heaven
He pours on me all I need.
But when I stumble hard
And look away from His great reign
I fall face down and start anew
So I can give my all again.
What a wondrous Savior that I serve
And who knows me oh so well
He walks along and guides my path
And helps me lift my veil.
I find His love a hovering peace
That rests on me and dwells so deep
And as He smiles and draws me near
I’m urged to sow and also reap.
So I continue my journey and I long for more
A lot more of my Maker and a lot less of me
And His faithfulness helps me charge ahead
I can’t wait for tomorrow for my hope resides in Thee.
Thank you, Lord for grabbing me
Thank you, Lord for holding tight
Thank you, Lord for loving me
I love You back with all my might!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Skipping to the Mailbox
So often, God becomes so big in my life that I don’t know what else to do but skip. I’ve had some moments over the past few weeks where the enemy just grabbed a hold of me and tried to get me to bury myself in things that inhibit my pursuit of holiness.
However, God knows me so intimately and knows that sometimes whispers don’t always work; I see Him working and see where He is leading me, but on occasion just can’t get there. So God will show up with an exclamation point to remind me that He is still in charge and wants me to move along with Him.
And I love it. I love that he cares enough to create such a personal journey just for me. I was so filled this week. God gave me a front row seat to watching Him work in the lives of those around me; I was thankful for a job where I get to work with so many great people; I had delightful conversation and bible study with good friends and then spent all day Saturday with my dear friend who I hadn’t seen since we got back from Africa.
As I was driving home from spending the day with my friend, the rain was pouring and it was so dreary outside, but I was so sunny inside. I was thinking about the power of God’s presence in my life and by the time I got within a mile of my house, I shed tears of joy. I pulled into the garage, unloaded the pizza I picked up for dinner and then skipped all the way down the driveway to the mailbox. I couldn’t help myself. God was lifting me off the ground and I couldn’t keep my feet still.
I wanted to skip and dance and praise my Lord with the joy that filled my heart. Psalm 16:11 came to mind...“You will show me the path of life; In your presence is fullness and joy; At your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
If you love Jesus and He is moving in your life, skip to the mailbox or dance in the streets. Show your joy to the Almighty.
However, God knows me so intimately and knows that sometimes whispers don’t always work; I see Him working and see where He is leading me, but on occasion just can’t get there. So God will show up with an exclamation point to remind me that He is still in charge and wants me to move along with Him.
And I love it. I love that he cares enough to create such a personal journey just for me. I was so filled this week. God gave me a front row seat to watching Him work in the lives of those around me; I was thankful for a job where I get to work with so many great people; I had delightful conversation and bible study with good friends and then spent all day Saturday with my dear friend who I hadn’t seen since we got back from Africa.
As I was driving home from spending the day with my friend, the rain was pouring and it was so dreary outside, but I was so sunny inside. I was thinking about the power of God’s presence in my life and by the time I got within a mile of my house, I shed tears of joy. I pulled into the garage, unloaded the pizza I picked up for dinner and then skipped all the way down the driveway to the mailbox. I couldn’t help myself. God was lifting me off the ground and I couldn’t keep my feet still.
I wanted to skip and dance and praise my Lord with the joy that filled my heart. Psalm 16:11 came to mind...“You will show me the path of life; In your presence is fullness and joy; At your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
If you love Jesus and He is moving in your life, skip to the mailbox or dance in the streets. Show your joy to the Almighty.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
90 Days in The Word
Zach (my darling little freshman) and I often discuss on our drive to school what he’s learning in bible class. He is rolling through the Old Testament right now and said it’s his favorite class. He said Genesis and Exodus are “really cool books.” And I totally agree.
He quizzes me and asks particularly probing questions. Our conversations have renewed a desire in me to gain an even deeper understanding of the story of God’s chosen people, so I can give him not only the easy answer, but place it in greater context of the whole plan of redemption. I’ve read the Old Testament many times, but decided I wanted to do it with a different intensity. So I started an online study that puts all the events in perspective of God’s sovereignty and gives commentary from angles that never occurred to me.
The study has been refreshingly insightful and I wanted to read the bible along with the study at a much more aggressive pace to get full immersion. So I began a schedule to read the bible in 90 days. The Old Testament is 70 of those 90 days, so the bulk of my time will be spent there. And I can’t tell you how fired up I am. The more I dig into the stories and allow God’s Words to come alive in phenomenal new ways, the more He takes my breath away. The other night I had trouble going to bed. I wanted to keep reading and digging and making notes of verses jumping up off the page. But I succumbed to my droopy eyes and went night-night.
As I mention in my profile, I’d rather read than eat. I will actually begin to hyperventilate if I am finishing one book and another is not sitting in the wings. But there is nothing more exciting to me than pouring myself into God’s Book. And in His providence, I am reading a book by Jerry Bridges that is a great accompaniment to my bible study. It talks about growing in faith through the bible and prayer. And growing is my goal.
My 90-day plan is opening the eyes of my heart to all God is teaching me and His plan for my life. Digging deep is pure delight for me. Now as I dig, may I step up and live it out! I pray for God’s help in that regard.
He quizzes me and asks particularly probing questions. Our conversations have renewed a desire in me to gain an even deeper understanding of the story of God’s chosen people, so I can give him not only the easy answer, but place it in greater context of the whole plan of redemption. I’ve read the Old Testament many times, but decided I wanted to do it with a different intensity. So I started an online study that puts all the events in perspective of God’s sovereignty and gives commentary from angles that never occurred to me.
The study has been refreshingly insightful and I wanted to read the bible along with the study at a much more aggressive pace to get full immersion. So I began a schedule to read the bible in 90 days. The Old Testament is 70 of those 90 days, so the bulk of my time will be spent there. And I can’t tell you how fired up I am. The more I dig into the stories and allow God’s Words to come alive in phenomenal new ways, the more He takes my breath away. The other night I had trouble going to bed. I wanted to keep reading and digging and making notes of verses jumping up off the page. But I succumbed to my droopy eyes and went night-night.
As I mention in my profile, I’d rather read than eat. I will actually begin to hyperventilate if I am finishing one book and another is not sitting in the wings. But there is nothing more exciting to me than pouring myself into God’s Book. And in His providence, I am reading a book by Jerry Bridges that is a great accompaniment to my bible study. It talks about growing in faith through the bible and prayer. And growing is my goal.
My 90-day plan is opening the eyes of my heart to all God is teaching me and His plan for my life. Digging deep is pure delight for me. Now as I dig, may I step up and live it out! I pray for God’s help in that regard.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wasting Precious Hours
I'm so mad at myself! I strive very hard to live each day to the fullest. So there's nothing that bugs me more than allowing a 24-hour period to be wasted on something very trivial. Well, I did that earlier this week. And the worst part--it’s something I’ve done before—same issue, different day.
I allowed something that was ridiculously small to consume my thoughts and drag me down through the evening, into the night and for the better part of the next day. But through prayer and digging into God’s Word, I snapped out of it. The situation had not changed, but my perspective changed a full 360 degrees. And all of a sudden there was fresh air to breathe.
As a kid, did you every experience playing in the pool with friends and one of them held you under longer than you would have liked. You start to freak out and getting a breath just consumes you. But when you finally come up, it feels like the best gulp of air you’ve ever taken. That’s exactly how I felt. The air was great and I felt alive again. I may get down, but I’ll never be out as long as I’m a child of God.
And what bugged me even more was that I could just see the devil laughing the whole time—he got me again and knew that I had fallen for the same trap that he’s set many times before. But the good news is God pulled me out of my mess. I’m so very thankful for His patience and mercy!
On my desk at work, I have a quote that states, “Live your life in such away that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says…'Oh no…she’s awake.'” I’m gonna work hard to keep making him shudder…he had a break this week, but no more!
I allowed something that was ridiculously small to consume my thoughts and drag me down through the evening, into the night and for the better part of the next day. But through prayer and digging into God’s Word, I snapped out of it. The situation had not changed, but my perspective changed a full 360 degrees. And all of a sudden there was fresh air to breathe.
As a kid, did you every experience playing in the pool with friends and one of them held you under longer than you would have liked. You start to freak out and getting a breath just consumes you. But when you finally come up, it feels like the best gulp of air you’ve ever taken. That’s exactly how I felt. The air was great and I felt alive again. I may get down, but I’ll never be out as long as I’m a child of God.
And what bugged me even more was that I could just see the devil laughing the whole time—he got me again and knew that I had fallen for the same trap that he’s set many times before. But the good news is God pulled me out of my mess. I’m so very thankful for His patience and mercy!
On my desk at work, I have a quote that states, “Live your life in such away that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says…'Oh no…she’s awake.'” I’m gonna work hard to keep making him shudder…he had a break this week, but no more!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Words That Delight
Sometimes I’m just so filled I want to explode. God continues to overwhelm me. Each day does not bring with it sensational moments, but I find myself more and more present in each moment that is given to me. And all these moments bring joy to my day and opportunities for blessings.
Those who know me, know I love to laugh and tell stories. But most of all I love to share what Jesus and I have been working on together. When the end of the week arrives, I want to feel like I’ve not let too many opportunities go by to share my faith and move in the direction where He is pointing me. And with even this small level of obedience, God pours Himself into me until I can hardly contain myself. It is a phenomenal way to experience His Presence each day.
I mentioned a verse in the fourth chapter of 2 Corinthians in my last entry. As I read and meditated on this verse, God kept taking me to other verses in that same chapter. I know I’ve read it many times in my life, but at the moment the chapter is screaming at me. And I love it. So I am committing the whole chapter to memory. I’m only part way there at the moment, but I’ll have it done before long.
As I began to memorize this chapter, I was brought to 2 verses in Jeremiah about God’s Word. Jeremiah 15:16 sums up exactly how I feel. “When your words came, I ate them; they were pure joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, O Lord God Almighty.” I do want to just eat them up, because when I devour them, they make my heart want to sing.
There is no doubt in my mind that the reason for the joy that accompanies each day is a result of staying in God’s Word. He speaks to me and ignites something in me that is more powerful than I can imagine. Jeremiah 20:9 is the place I have reached “…his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones, I am weary of holding it in; Indeed, I cannot.”
I am here to tell you that His Word absorbed down to the marrow of my bones is the spring in my step and the song in my heart. And since I know this, why would I not want more of it and continue to make it “my heart’s delight?”
Well, gotta go. I’ve got more of chapter 4 to eat.
Those who know me, know I love to laugh and tell stories. But most of all I love to share what Jesus and I have been working on together. When the end of the week arrives, I want to feel like I’ve not let too many opportunities go by to share my faith and move in the direction where He is pointing me. And with even this small level of obedience, God pours Himself into me until I can hardly contain myself. It is a phenomenal way to experience His Presence each day.
I mentioned a verse in the fourth chapter of 2 Corinthians in my last entry. As I read and meditated on this verse, God kept taking me to other verses in that same chapter. I know I’ve read it many times in my life, but at the moment the chapter is screaming at me. And I love it. So I am committing the whole chapter to memory. I’m only part way there at the moment, but I’ll have it done before long.
As I began to memorize this chapter, I was brought to 2 verses in Jeremiah about God’s Word. Jeremiah 15:16 sums up exactly how I feel. “When your words came, I ate them; they were pure joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, O Lord God Almighty.” I do want to just eat them up, because when I devour them, they make my heart want to sing.
There is no doubt in my mind that the reason for the joy that accompanies each day is a result of staying in God’s Word. He speaks to me and ignites something in me that is more powerful than I can imagine. Jeremiah 20:9 is the place I have reached “…his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones, I am weary of holding it in; Indeed, I cannot.”
I am here to tell you that His Word absorbed down to the marrow of my bones is the spring in my step and the song in my heart. And since I know this, why would I not want more of it and continue to make it “my heart’s delight?”
Well, gotta go. I’ve got more of chapter 4 to eat.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Unsuspecting Vessels
Last week was a particularly good week for the Lord and me. No one else would be the wiser, though. He did not bring huge visible blessings—there were no miraculous events that would wow my friends or create a stir. But He moved and stirred me. He brought clarity to some things and taught me more about His goodness. And I do need to be taught as often as possible.
It brings a smile to my face when I think of the people and circumstances God used last week. Every single person had no idea that they had been used. Obviously, no one is privy to the conversations that I have with my Maker every day. And they wouldn't know the touch points of my life that needed pushed to move me closer to Him. But He knows. So, in His sovereignty, he arranges the events of each hour and each day to bless little ole me. And I am so thankful for His grace and mercy that brings such goodness my way.
So if you sent me an encouraging e-mail, if you took the time to make a sweet comment, if you made me laugh 'til I almost peed my pants or if your path crossed mine and you blessed me in any way, I say THANK YOU. Please know that God was using you and He will do so in abundance if you open yourself up to Him.
My prayer each morning is a simple question, “God, where do you want me today?” I ask Him to use me and allow me to be a shining light for Him. So if you run into me anytime soon and you don’t see Him shining through, please let me know. I need your accountability as well as your encouragement.
The verse God brought to me yesterday is one I’ve committed to memory and hopefully it will sink in your hearts as well— 2 Corinthians 4:6 “For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.”
May you be a light for Jesus because of your knowledge of Him!!
p.s. I am attaching a picture of my 17-year old to this blog. It has nothing to do with the subject, but a dear friend of mine took his senior portraits and he is so incredibly handsome that I had to post it for all to see.
It brings a smile to my face when I think of the people and circumstances God used last week. Every single person had no idea that they had been used. Obviously, no one is privy to the conversations that I have with my Maker every day. And they wouldn't know the touch points of my life that needed pushed to move me closer to Him. But He knows. So, in His sovereignty, he arranges the events of each hour and each day to bless little ole me. And I am so thankful for His grace and mercy that brings such goodness my way.
So if you sent me an encouraging e-mail, if you took the time to make a sweet comment, if you made me laugh 'til I almost peed my pants or if your path crossed mine and you blessed me in any way, I say THANK YOU. Please know that God was using you and He will do so in abundance if you open yourself up to Him.
My prayer each morning is a simple question, “God, where do you want me today?” I ask Him to use me and allow me to be a shining light for Him. So if you run into me anytime soon and you don’t see Him shining through, please let me know. I need your accountability as well as your encouragement.
The verse God brought to me yesterday is one I’ve committed to memory and hopefully it will sink in your hearts as well— 2 Corinthians 4:6 “For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.”
May you be a light for Jesus because of your knowledge of Him!!
p.s. I am attaching a picture of my 17-year old to this blog. It has nothing to do with the subject, but a dear friend of mine took his senior portraits and he is so incredibly handsome that I had to post it for all to see.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Life So Precious
Life is so precious. Yes, it is. I continue to grieve over my sweet friend who lost her battle with cancer last week. I know living down here and staying too close to this world will never allow me to heal and move more closely to God. So I step back and step up. I step up to a Higher Plain that allows me to see clearly through the lens of eternity. And living each day for eternity is truly the only way to live.
I often talk about living each day to its fullest and looking for Jesus everywhere. I am in the midst of a book about a phenomenal servant of God, Lilias Trotter, who saw Jesus every day in the details of life that is beyond anything I have ever known. She was born in 1853 into a life of great privilege, but left it all to give her life to showing Christ to the people of Algeria.
No matter the great odds that were against her, she saw the beauty of Jesus as she watched a bee spreading pollen or birds making their way as a faith lesson in dependence on God. Nothing escaped her as a way to experience Jesus more deeply and live life more fully as His servant. As I read about her relentless pursuit to spread the Good News and follow God's plan for her life, I find myself setting my goals even higher than ever before.
In Lilias fashion, I want to live in “triumphant gladness in having nothing but God.” I pray that He uses me more fully than I can even dream. And as I search more deeply to find ways to spread the love of Jesus, I hope to be even more intentional about my love and devotion to my boys. They do know how much I love them. As my youngest asks, “Mom, do you think you can go 5 minutes without touching or kissing me?” But I want to intensify my role as their teacher and give them a godly foundation, so when they’re on their own, they will have built their life on the Rock.
They are precious and life is precious. My friend’s triumphant entry into heaven this past week, gives me a great desire to live as if I may be called Home this very minute.
I often talk about living each day to its fullest and looking for Jesus everywhere. I am in the midst of a book about a phenomenal servant of God, Lilias Trotter, who saw Jesus every day in the details of life that is beyond anything I have ever known. She was born in 1853 into a life of great privilege, but left it all to give her life to showing Christ to the people of Algeria.
No matter the great odds that were against her, she saw the beauty of Jesus as she watched a bee spreading pollen or birds making their way as a faith lesson in dependence on God. Nothing escaped her as a way to experience Jesus more deeply and live life more fully as His servant. As I read about her relentless pursuit to spread the Good News and follow God's plan for her life, I find myself setting my goals even higher than ever before.
In Lilias fashion, I want to live in “triumphant gladness in having nothing but God.” I pray that He uses me more fully than I can even dream. And as I search more deeply to find ways to spread the love of Jesus, I hope to be even more intentional about my love and devotion to my boys. They do know how much I love them. As my youngest asks, “Mom, do you think you can go 5 minutes without touching or kissing me?” But I want to intensify my role as their teacher and give them a godly foundation, so when they’re on their own, they will have built their life on the Rock.
They are precious and life is precious. My friend’s triumphant entry into heaven this past week, gives me a great desire to live as if I may be called Home this very minute.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Unveiled and Startling
I recently finished a book titled It’s Never Too Late about living a life of obedience so you can fulfill your God-given purpose. The author shares his life story as he moved from the ruins of gangs and drugs to reaching God’s destiny for him as preacher and so much more.
He talked about holding on to God’s goodness regardless of your circumstances. He said that we have a responsibility to “be so submitted to God, so humble in God, so committed to God, and so in tune with His Spirit that blessings will start overtaking our lives to such an extent that the world will become jealous of what God is doing for us.”
So often I am asking God for clarification or great focus on an issue in my life. He often responds by telling me to go to Scripture and do what He has already called me to do. And through that reminder, I usually find my answer. He recently showed me once again through the author of this book that He is “looking for people who want to live overflowing lives, because those are the only kinds of people who will bless others when He blesses them.” I want to overflow and bless.
So I step back from situations that currently have a hold on me and remember that I am so blessed. I am so filled so often that I have an obligation to shine for Jesus without wavering and without hesitation. I am thankful that God is faithful and offers me so much grace to bring me back where to He wants me.
Toward the end of the book, the author asks the question, “When is the last time the glory of God shone from your life so much that it startled someone?” I hope I startle someone today!
And 2 Corinthians 3:18 brings this point home...“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”
He talked about holding on to God’s goodness regardless of your circumstances. He said that we have a responsibility to “be so submitted to God, so humble in God, so committed to God, and so in tune with His Spirit that blessings will start overtaking our lives to such an extent that the world will become jealous of what God is doing for us.”
So often I am asking God for clarification or great focus on an issue in my life. He often responds by telling me to go to Scripture and do what He has already called me to do. And through that reminder, I usually find my answer. He recently showed me once again through the author of this book that He is “looking for people who want to live overflowing lives, because those are the only kinds of people who will bless others when He blesses them.” I want to overflow and bless.
So I step back from situations that currently have a hold on me and remember that I am so blessed. I am so filled so often that I have an obligation to shine for Jesus without wavering and without hesitation. I am thankful that God is faithful and offers me so much grace to bring me back where to He wants me.
Toward the end of the book, the author asks the question, “When is the last time the glory of God shone from your life so much that it startled someone?” I hope I startle someone today!
And 2 Corinthians 3:18 brings this point home...“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”
Friday, September 26, 2008
A Sense of Urgency
Tragedy lives right next door to all of us. I am in the midst of watching dear friends struggle against the vicious enemy of cancer, a young girl crumble under the weight of grief from the loss of her daddy, and many other struggles that I see almost daily as this fallen world brings great burdens to my friends and so many very good people.
It would be easy to fall into the trap of feeling bad and then a few minutes later going about my business of planning dinner and thinking about the weekend. But I can’t. I’m affected somewhere deep inside and I hurt for the pain that they must endure as they travel planet earth.
But I ask myself--what difference does it make to me? What will I do differently today when I am exposed in such intimate ways with such tragedy on a regular basis? I have found that it creates in me a great sense of urgency. In my pursuit of Jesus and His will for my life, it is not enough anymore just to take a casual approach to His leading. I must intensify my desire to make Him the center of each day and each hour of my life.
And that renewed sense of passion brings about an excitement that knows no bounds. I love to love Jesus and I look so forward to what He has in store for me. I want to pursue a life with Him in such a way that nothing but full surrender will do. Worldly desires and materialistic goals no longer have a hold on me and it is a wonderful freedom that comes only in this urgent desire to find Him in every crevice of my day.
So I’ll not start looking tomorrow or in just a minute, I’m looking right now. I want to see Jesus in the face of my sons, in the drive in the morning to work, in my kitchen at dinner time and in my quiet hours of evening. And you know what? I’ve found He never disappoints. He shows up and blesses me immensely for my obedience to Him.
May God create in all of us an urgency to see Him more fully—starting right now!
It would be easy to fall into the trap of feeling bad and then a few minutes later going about my business of planning dinner and thinking about the weekend. But I can’t. I’m affected somewhere deep inside and I hurt for the pain that they must endure as they travel planet earth.
But I ask myself--what difference does it make to me? What will I do differently today when I am exposed in such intimate ways with such tragedy on a regular basis? I have found that it creates in me a great sense of urgency. In my pursuit of Jesus and His will for my life, it is not enough anymore just to take a casual approach to His leading. I must intensify my desire to make Him the center of each day and each hour of my life.
And that renewed sense of passion brings about an excitement that knows no bounds. I love to love Jesus and I look so forward to what He has in store for me. I want to pursue a life with Him in such a way that nothing but full surrender will do. Worldly desires and materialistic goals no longer have a hold on me and it is a wonderful freedom that comes only in this urgent desire to find Him in every crevice of my day.
So I’ll not start looking tomorrow or in just a minute, I’m looking right now. I want to see Jesus in the face of my sons, in the drive in the morning to work, in my kitchen at dinner time and in my quiet hours of evening. And you know what? I’ve found He never disappoints. He shows up and blesses me immensely for my obedience to Him.
May God create in all of us an urgency to see Him more fully—starting right now!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
And He Heard Me
I recently finished my book that describes my journey since the death of my husband 3 years ago. I can, at this point, easily write about where I’ve been and what God has done for me without great pain. The joy of Jesus far outweighs the burden of my loss.
However, the pain still lurks. The only way I know to describe it is that the monster never sleeps. The pain is always looking for a way to escape and so I just learn to live with it. And I never know when it’s going to get the best of me. Sometimes that’s frustrating. I can just be tooling along and having a good time in life and then bam! It strikes. It used to sneak up on me, but I got onto its little tactics. Now it’ll just attach to something that is already bothering me and the next thing I know, I’m on my knees.
It’s hard, but it’s the “thorn” (2 Cor. 12:7-10) that God has given me to keep me close to Him. I’m okay with it, but sometimes I just gets tired. I have found my joy-filled life comes by being completely present in the simplest moments that occur each day. And sometimes they truly are just moments. It may be an inside joke or great conversation with my youngest son on the way to school. It may be sharing a goofy story with someone at work. It may be the checkout person who seems particularly happy and shares her enthusiasm with me. It may be a few minutes with someone who wants to share what God is doing. All these small things make my day worth living. And I go looking for them each morning.
Big stuff still happens to me and God is moving in profound ways, but each day is filled with all kinds of little glories if I am intentional about finding them. And when I’m down and the monster strikes, I find great comfort in knowing that…”In my distress I cried to the Lord and he heard me.” (Psalm 120:1 nkjv) Sometimes I need to be reminded that He hears me. When no one else is around and I am all alone, the Creator of the universe is never too busy...He stands ready and waiting as if I'm the only one He has on His agenda for the day..."and he heard me."
However, the pain still lurks. The only way I know to describe it is that the monster never sleeps. The pain is always looking for a way to escape and so I just learn to live with it. And I never know when it’s going to get the best of me. Sometimes that’s frustrating. I can just be tooling along and having a good time in life and then bam! It strikes. It used to sneak up on me, but I got onto its little tactics. Now it’ll just attach to something that is already bothering me and the next thing I know, I’m on my knees.
It’s hard, but it’s the “thorn” (2 Cor. 12:7-10) that God has given me to keep me close to Him. I’m okay with it, but sometimes I just gets tired. I have found my joy-filled life comes by being completely present in the simplest moments that occur each day. And sometimes they truly are just moments. It may be an inside joke or great conversation with my youngest son on the way to school. It may be sharing a goofy story with someone at work. It may be the checkout person who seems particularly happy and shares her enthusiasm with me. It may be a few minutes with someone who wants to share what God is doing. All these small things make my day worth living. And I go looking for them each morning.
Big stuff still happens to me and God is moving in profound ways, but each day is filled with all kinds of little glories if I am intentional about finding them. And when I’m down and the monster strikes, I find great comfort in knowing that…”In my distress I cried to the Lord and he heard me.” (Psalm 120:1 nkjv) Sometimes I need to be reminded that He hears me. When no one else is around and I am all alone, the Creator of the universe is never too busy...He stands ready and waiting as if I'm the only one He has on His agenda for the day..."and he heard me."
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