Kids - God's Gift

I'm reading two books in parallel. I didn't mean to, but my Amazon order showed up on my front porch after I had started another book. I kept staring at my new books and was dying to dig into them. So I couldn't resist. I started a second one. And oddly enough, they are a perfect complement to one another.

The first book is Too Small To Ignore and describes the life of Wess Stafford, CEO of Compassion International. He has a deep desire to treat all of God's children like the gift they are. He says, "Every child you encounter is a divine appointment." He insists we have an obligation to give voice to those who would have none otherwise. It is challenging me to set aside some of my typical adult-type ideas about children and embrace each child as an opportunity to show them Jesus.

The second book is titled Age of Opportunity - a biblical guide to parenting teens. It is a very compelling book that completely turns some of my ideas of parenting upside down. The author challenges the heart of parents as the extension of how they parent. He gives voice to things most of us would not admit out loud. It's wonderfully refreshing and very thought-provoking. The author says, "We tend to approach parenting with a sense of ownership, that these are our children and their obedience is our right. These assumptions pave the way for our identity to get wrapped up in our children." I sometimes forget that even in my role as a mom, I must still live in complete submission to God.

I want to embrace opportunities with my boys, which is another aspect of the book. To truly look at normal moments as teachable moments. We live in the mundane far more than the wow. So I grabbed one of those this week. I had already made plans for dinner on Tuesday, but Zach was at a dodge ball tournament and I had to pick him up later than usual. So I put dinner in the fridge and asked Derek if he'd like to ride along and then we'd all go out for dinner. He was delighted and unaware that it was intentional on my part. It's not often I get my almost 18-year old in the car all to myself. And what a delightful conversation we had. He shared a struggle that he was having and what he was doing to overcome it. I was blown away. It was a typical teenage boy issue, which would seem harmless, but his godly perspective was moving him in a totally different direction than most.

I do love to read, but I am particularly moved as God directs me to books that bring about His greater purpose for my life as His humble servant - in all my roles in life.

The Stake is Staying

I’m not a glutton for punishment and you’ll never find me asking for trouble, but I have learned that God is boldest when I’m hurting. I see Him most clearly when I’ve lost my breath from a sucker punch or when a difficult issue seems to have no end. He reminds me that He never left the throne and He never left me.

My single biggest fear in life is that my boys will stray from their Christian faith and never return. So as Derek and I journeyed together recently on a big life lesson, I did the hardest thing a mother can do. I stepped out of the way and turned him over to God. And when I did that, He got busy working in his life. Derek was experiencing the burden of disobedience to me, but found His way back through scripture and prayer. I stood on the sidelines, watched him make this mistake and clung to Jesus all the while. When Derek revealed to me that he came to the right conclusion and how he got there, I simply burst into tears. I am so very proud of my firstborn and can’t wait to see what all God has in store for him.

In addition to struggling with hard issues, God also shows up big when my hour is dark - when life throws me a deep punch to the gut that leaves me reeling. That happened this week. The punch made me question just briefly if it would be better if I dampened my enthusiasm for my faith - at least a little. God said, "No!" He said His plan for me has not changed. I am to be a light for Him in every area of my life. He did not ignite a fire in my belly for me to pick and choose when I wanted to passionately serve Him. He wants me to be as bold for Him and He is for me. I decided that stake I put in the ground years ago is not budging, so I picked up my hammer and gave it a good whack to make sure it was still firmly planted. I'm not looking back - no not ever. I live for Jesus and no one else.

I can think of no greater joy or purpose than sharing my Jesus with my boys, my friends, my co-workers or anyone whose path I cross. And God showed me in Isaiah 52:7 how beautiful I am to Him when I stay fixed on His work…”How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, ‘Your God reigns!’” Yes, my God reigns forever and ever!

Held Captive

I’ve been extremely restless this week. A bit of loneliness crept in and I felt God was speaking to me about how to move forward. However, I was struggling with where I thought He was leading me. It just didn’t seem to fit with the path that He has carved out for me, so I dug my heels in deep. And the uneasiness just wouldn’t go away. It kept me up at night. I knew God was up to something, but I didn’t have clarity. So I prayed and I waited.

Well, it lasted all week. I was not until today that God revealed what He was after. There are a couple areas of my life that add to my pain and they start with thoughts that roll around in my head. These thoughts then dilute and distract my capacity to discern God’s voice. God wants this stuff cleaned out.

God’s loudest and most powerful voice comes through His Word and that’s exactly how He showed me what He wanted. It was revealed most clearly through 2 Corinthians 10:5 “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” That verse is huge. The way for me to truly have a tender and attentive heart is to make sure even my thoughts, not just my words and deeds, are in obedience to Christ. Matthew 22:37 reminds me that God wants all of me – my heart, soul AND mind.

Thoughts are critical to a mature spiritual life. And I have some thoughts that need to be reconditioned – they can be selfish, judgmental and unhealthy. As I chatted with a sweet friend last night, we shared scriptures back and forth and she led me to Romans 8:6 "The mind controlled by the sinful nature is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace."I must keep my mind on the Spirit, so I don’t have to fight through the clutter to get to what God desires for me.

I never want peace to elude me and at these times of struggle, it is certainly not as present as I’d like. So as I worshipped in my car on the way to work this morning, a verse from my devotional came to me and put an exclamation point behind what God was teaching me. Isaiah 26:3 made clear that if I want my peace back in full force I must have a mind that is stayed on Him. “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”

I have been learning in my bible study that a revelation from God is an invitation to adjust my life and join Him in His work, so I must act on what He has taught me today. God is so faithful in making His direction clear to me. And I am so humbled that God loves me enough not to leave me the way I am. He wants me closer to Him. That's His goal.

I can breathe deep and release that tension that gripped me this week as I let go of the hold that was on me. I want to turn my mind completely over to Christ. I want to be held captive by Him. No one else will do.

Mama's School of Learning

I love to read! I find little redeeming value in TV, so it’s amazing how much time I can find to devour books. Although, I do enjoy a good movie and watched an excellent one Saturday night—Gifted Hands – The Ben Carson Story. It’s playing on TNT—I highly recommend it.

Anyway, I just finished 3 great books in the last 3 weeks: Uncommon Faith – about a lady who gave up everything to live in New York City’s worst neighborhood to bring the gospel to those so desperate; Into The Deep – about a man who lost his wife and 4 young children in a flash flood (the youngest had just been adopted less than a year prior) and then turned his tragedy into a worldwide mission to share God’s grace to others; Gospel Trailblazer - about Howard Jones, the first black evangelist to join the Billy Graham crusades. He followed God’s lead when he was young to go into ministry when his flesh really wanted to become a jazz musician. Through his obedience, God used him to bring thousands and thousands to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Biographies about people fighting against the world to follow Christ’s plan are my favorite kind of stories. Being totally sold out regardless of what others say and then watching God explode is incredibly inspiring to me.

I see how books just like these have changed my way of thinking and my relationship with Christ, so at the dinner table last night I told the boys they were about to be introduced to “mama’s school of learning.” Their eyes popped. Zach said, "Let's hurry up with grace. I don't think I'm gonna like this." I told them they must read a book a week from now until the end of the school year. I selected a stack from my library that they must to choose from. And oh, my gosh, you should have heard the whining.

I just sat there cutting up my chicken and eating my mashed potatoes and told them, “Go ahead, get it out of your system. I’m not changing my mind.” So they went on for quite a while, coming up with every excuse why that was not possible and trying to bargain their way out. Derek finally said, “We may as well give it up. She isn’t budging.”

So they each picked out a book last night. I’m so excited to see how God moves in them as they begin reading a whole new world of books. I was so thrilled with the prospect, I didn’t sleep last night.

God's Perfect Word

I finished my 90-day journey through God’s Word earlier this week. And, oh, what a marvelous experience it was. God taught me so much and gave such clarity in many areas. The magnificence of His Word was so powerful in its absolute purity and perfection.

He made very real His story…

- from the beginning as His Spirit hovered over the waters before His creation
- to his wrath and compassion for His people...
- to all the imperfect and unlikely characters He used as part of His great redemptive plan for establishing His kingdom...
- to His unfathomable love being revealed in the majesty of His only Son living in perfect obedience in preparation for a final and perfect sacrifice for us all.
- and Revelation puts an exclamation point on the return of our King.

And I can’t wait. I live for eternity. Revelation 22:20 says it perfectly…”Amen. Come Lord Jesus.” It’s my new favorite verse.

It was so astounding and revealing to read God’s entire Word in such a compact timeframe. At times it almost took my breath away. As I started into the New Testament, I was wowed by the seamless connection to the Old Testament. The gospel of Matthew alone quotes the OT over 50 times. Sometimes I simply held His Word to my heart and just sat there quietly. I simply didn’t know what else to do.

But God also spoke to me very personally in ways too numerous to mention. I may have otherwise missed these teachable moments had I not been obedient 90 days ago when He asked me to do this.

When I was having a widow moment, He reminded me in Isaiah 54:5 “For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is his name.” And over and over He confirmed that He wanted me to continue to be bold for Him…

- He “must be glorified,” (Isaiah 66:5)
- to “sing the glory of his name,”(Psalm 66:2)
- to be His example because “those who preach the gospel should received their living from the gospel,” (1 Cor. 9:14).
- my allegiance must remain to Him above all else, because “the Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing.” (John 6:63)

I want God to consume me and fuel my passion more than ever before, so I can eventually say, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Tim 4:7)

Hebrews 12:29 sums it up best for me - “God is a consuming fire.” Amen, yes He is!

Grace in Action

Over the past few weeks, God has really shown me the power of grace. I wake up every day under the great freedom of His marvelous grace. And it's because of that grace, I have such hope. It offers me eternity with Him and a renewed joy as He allows new opportunities for me to serve and grow.

But God also requires that I show His love in the form of grace to others. He requires that I put it into action daily. Paul implores us in 2 Corinthians 6:1 “As God’s fellow workers we urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain.” So every gift from God is intended to be given to others as well.

Sometimes things happen in life that cause my flesh to rise up and be offended. In the scheme of things they really are no big deal. So I have to step back and say, “Satan, get behind me.” I must do what Jesus would do. And, wow, the more I offer God’s grace to others the more He blesses me and those around me.

A year ago, I offered grace to a business associate and he just recently called to thank me for that and is now moving in obedience to God; a friend recently said something that didn’t sit well and I let it go with a smile. Later I found a sweet gift in the mail that reflected the sincerity of her heart; and I insisted just last week that our family offer grace in a tough situation and I’m already seeing God’s incredible blessings as a result.

God’s love abounds! He is so good to show me tangible results as I try hard to live out what He teaches me. I cling to His Word that tells me in John 1:16 “From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another.” Yep, that's true. I see it every day.

I know His grace has blessed me in ways I can’t even describe, but as I show His grace to others, I see those same heavenly blessings flowing to those around me.

The Son is Shining

I was just humming along this week watching God show up and work in His usual marvelous ways in my life, and then bam! A moment of truth and crisis hit our home as I tried to walk my oldest son through a very difficult situation. For me, it became a defining moment for him. I wanted him to step back from the pain of the current situation and say, “What can I learn? God, what do you want from me?” Well, communicating that to a 17-year old is not always easy. I prayed so fervently that he would “get it." I wanted him to understand that these very bad moments in life can also be very defining ones.

So we walked through it together…I shared with him how prayer, God’s Word and godly advice are my tools for approaching decisions and encouraged him to follow my example. But he was having trouble seeing past the overwhelming issue before him. He has lingering anger from the death of his daddy and it works its way into these moments. It's a lot for him to overcome.

But I kept at it. I showed him scriptures to help him and prayed with him. But the issue lingered in my mind and kept me up all night…not the issue at hand, but the issue of him making this a life lesson. I wanted him to see that it was Jesus' example he had to be after and everything else was background noise. I wasn’t hearing that…he was still caught up in the moment. I do understand, though. I remember being 17 with a less than mature approach to life. But I want better for him.

One situation rolled into another until I had reached capacity. I stood in the lobby of the school this afternoon with my precious firstborn with tears streaming down my face and snot pouring from my nose (sorry…that’s just what happens when there are no Kleenex nearby.) For just a moment, I allowed the enemy to come too close and make me feel like I was failing as a mom. It was a burden I simply couldn’t carry at that moment.

So I left and made a beeline home to only place I wanted to be…on my knees. I poured myself out and then opened God’s Word to John 14:1. God spoke right to me—“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” It’s a familiar verse, but I owned it at that moment and held it to my heart. God clearly told me, as He has so often, that I must trust in Him even when the hour is dark. So I read on and came to verse 8 where Philip said, "Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us." I looked up and said, “Father, you ARE enough for me.”

Then I went outside and stood in my driveway and the let God’s glorious sun shine on my face. My pain and turmoil quickly disappeared. I am so thankful for God’s faithfulness in showing me the path straight to Him.

And as I come out of this with my oldest, I have a renewed relationship with him that made the darkness all worthwhile. We’ve had deep and intense discussions and I feel good about his direction. He told me he clearly wants to be the man God wants him to be. He said he just has trouble getting there sometimes…but don’t we all?

Thank you, Jesus, for carrying me when I need you most!

I'm His...Right Now and Always

My boys left town today. They went to Michigan on a youth retreat. And my youngest was also gone last night for a school field trip. This past week has been a bit busy, but a good busy. So I’m looking forward to a quiet weekend. I’ll miss the boys terribly, but they’ll be home on Monday before I know it.

Over the last week, as I thought about them leaving, I had intended to leave town myself. I thought I’d take off to visit friends and get away. My thoughts turned to life without the boys. One will graduate in May and the second in 3 1/2 short years. I also drifted to thoughts about retirement and God’s plan for me at all these new stages in my life. Then it hit me!

I have trouble even visualizing those normal worldly stages that are typical for us to carve into our lives. I realized that my strategy for life will be no different in the future then it is now. I live for God’s plan, not mine. I don't plan to do something different when the boys are out of the house or when I retire. As long as I’m still on this earth, I’m just working for Jesus. He can guide me where He wants. I'm not going to break my life into compartments and then ask Him to work His will into my chunks of time...just the opposite. I'll let Him set my life’s plan and then try to be obedient where ever that leads.

Boy, what a wonderful peace there is in realizing that my world no longer operates the way I always thought it should. I don’t have to keep working toward worldly goals that I have been conditioned to believe is the proper way to plan. I get to just show up each day and let my Savior guide me according to what He has in store.

That doesn’t mean I’m not prudent with my time, money and priorities. I still try to stay out debt, spend wisely, give generously and love unconditionally. But I don’t sweat over today where I think I’ll be tomorrow or 20 years from now. What peace; what joy; what satisfaction in knowing that God’s Spirit is embedded deep within me and helps me truly live for eternity!

The Lord reminds us in Psalm 127:1 that our work outside of His plan is all labor in vain anyway. “Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.”

Jesus at the Center

I mentioned in my last blog about the “everyday Jesus.” This past week I have felt a great peace and joy that continues to deepen in my life. I can’t imagine ever living without either one. The more I experience Jesus in my every day life, the more my appetite craves to be fed by Him above all else.

I was praying last night about the things in my life that are very, very good. I reflected on whether there is any person or thing that would ever interfere with keeping Jesus at the center. If God called me to do something that would force me to give up a relationship, my house, my job or anything else that I deemed good, because He had something better in mind, would I do it? Would I trust Him enough to walk out on faith? I came to the conclusion that I would…and I slept so peacefully with that thought. But I have to work at it ‘cause the things of this world look mighty good sometimes.

…So then I moved on to talking to God about whether He was at the center in my role as a mother. I pray over that part of my life more than any other single thing. I want to get it right and I want my boys to know Jesus more intimately than they know anything else.

Well, this week, I have had some phenomenal conversations with both boys, but particularly Derek. We had the occasion to discuss a wide range of issues from relationships to general behavior to his future. I walked away from each conversation very proud of my firstborn. He gets it. He has a firm grasp on what’s right. He is a teenager and gets his priorities wrong and is just plain goofy sometimes, but his perspective on things was grounded. It was affirming to me that he has been watching and learning. A mama needs that on occasion.

Zach just simply lights up my life. He sends me texts during the day that make me burst into melodious peals of laughter. And he and I have had some great conversations as well this week. He is a sensitive soul and cried recently over knowing he hurt a friend. He and I continue to have great chats on the way to school and he longs to grow. If I bring something to his attention, he really takes it to heart. It hurts him in a bad way when he thinks I am not happy with his behavior. I feel like he gets it too…just like his brother.

There’s not much more I can ask for. I keep Jesus as the center and He guides me and reassures me as I walk in obedience with Him. I love the affirmation that He gives me and love the way He ordains so many details that come together for my greater good.

We serve a mighty God! And there is only One.

Happy New Year

I feel the earth moving beneath my feet as the new year begins. The presence of God is full and His mighty hand is a powerful force in my life. I anxiously await what He has in store for me and my family in 2009.

I was looking over my spiritual journal last night and there are a few insights that God had given me last year that I need to be reminded of as I move into the glorious new year that God has set before me.

Here are a few of the highlights of how God spoke to me over the year...I plan to hold fast to His Word and listen attentively to how He whispers to me in the coming weeks and months.

1. Everyday Celebrations--There is something worth getting excited about every single day--find it, focus on it and be full in it.

2. God's Authority--God made clear He has set the vision for my life and asked that now I just wait patiently...even if that means waiting through some darkness.

3. The Everyday Jesus--If my eyes are truly open it will be in the daily events of my life that I see the magnificence of Jesus. Obedience in the smallest areas brings the greatest rewards.

4. A big God--God told me to allow Him to be unleashed in my life...don't settle for my way of thinking...Isaiah 55:8 tells me "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways."

5. Serving Him--He gave me a deep and abiding desire to serve Him by serving others...that may be "the least of these" or it may be showering my love on those closest to me.

I feel blessed and exuberant about this new day that the Lord has given me. May you feel the same passion.