I'm Sorry

Derek called me a while back in a panic. He was trying to find his way to an appointment and was lost. I was shocked since he'd been there many times before. "How can you be lost?" I asked with irritation. "You've been there a million times." "I don't know, mom." He said. "But I'm tired of driving up and down the road. I've passed the same place 4 times." He was frustrated and upset that he was lost in such familiar territory. Finally, after he told me exactly where he was I guided him to this location. "Oh, I found it." The relief was evident in his voice. "Bye, mom." And he hung up.

About an hour later, I got a very unexpected call from him. He called for one purpose and one only. "Mom, I owe you an apology. I think my tone on the phone wasn't good when I called you earlier and I probably sounded disrespectful. I'm sorry." "No you didn't, honey, but thank you. You were just frustrated and so was I. You were not disrespectful at all."

That has stuck with me for a while--my boys aren't usually the best at apologies. They just act extra nice and try to smooth things over when they've done something wrong, but they don't come right out with the "I'm sorry" business. It's hard. It's humbling. Even as adults we struggle with this.

Yesterday, I was sitting on my patio reading for a bit before heading over to visit some dear friends. But I couldn't concentrate on my book--God was convicting me. I closed my book and walked upstairs to Derek, sat down next to him and said, "Derek, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got irritated at you yesterday. I had no reason and no right to act that way." I could see his whole body lighten up and he smiled really big. And then we knuckle bumped. It's almost as if he had been sitting up there at that very moment waiting for me. I had gotten upset over a little thing--he had changed his mind about something and it didn't sit well with me, but there was nothing wrong with it. I was just having a weak moment as a mom and sounded off a bit at him. But it is amazing what a humble apology can do for the soul and for a relationship. I need to do that more often.

I'm so thankful that God convicts me and is kind enough to encourage me as a mom by showing me how my own boys can teach me--how they can be my example on occasion. I hope I can continue to teach them and live out my faith, but also never forget that sometimes they have a thing or two to show me.