There are many things I pray for very fervently. One of them is that I will continue to bond in a unique way with my 2 precious boys since they no longer have their daddy. God was kind enough to show me early on after Jim's death that I couldn't be everything to them. I knew I would need to invite others along our journey to help in the process. I am so incredibly grateful all that God has done on our behalf.
I believe He has answered my prayers, but I still must work hard at the relationship. Teenage boys are a unique breed. They like to be with their old mama one minute and the next really just want their space. I respect that. I've learned I must meet them where they are to keep the relationship fresh and engaging. A friend of mine recently said that you must listen to them and be there even if they say things that surprise you and make you want to kinda freak out. If I don't listen, they'll go to someone who will.
I also must do things that they love to do. I still wax nostalgia for running in the park, going to the zoo and biking. But they are on to other things. Not long ago I heard a story of a little kid who asked his very busy mom how much she made an hour. When she told him, he left the room and came back with that exact amount. "Can I buy an hour of your time?" I hope I'm never to busy for my boys. But I do buy their time on occasion. It's part of meeting them where they are.
We all love mocha's at Starbucks, so sometimes late on a Friday or when I think we haven't been together as a family enough, I offer to drive them to get coffee together. They almost always say yes. A couple of Saturdays ago, we met at 2 in the afternoon to eat a dozen donuts and have coffee. I know that sounds weird, but it's what they love to do. And I love to be with them!
So I press on to stay as involved as they'll let me without being overbearing. And oftentimes, I gather us together on common turf so we can hang and have good dialogue. They think their mom is just silly and spontaneous. That is true, but more than anything, I'm intentional about how much I want to be intimately involved in their life.
I'll never stop praying for God to give me wisdom and to just give me opportunities to hang with them. He is good and faithful in this regard.
.JPG)
