Saturday, July 18, 2009

Seeking Him...4 Years and Counting


Four years ago today, I became a widow. There are days when it seems like just yesterday, but mostly it feels like a million years ago. I've moved! Not physically, but emotionally and spiritually to a place of security and peace. That is completely and wholly a result of waking up every single day with an intention to seek Jesus.

People often ask me if I'm staying in Danville long-term or whether I'll move when Zach graduates (in 3 years). I don't have an answer. My journey has been extraordinary, thus far. God has exploded in my life in incredible ways and it is because of my intention to stay fixed on Him and His plan that I don't ponder the future too much. I find the small daily acts of obedience begins to lay a plan for the week and the month and then before I know it, I'm standing somewhere I never expected.

A few months after Jim died, there was no doubt in my mind I would leave Danville by the following summer. But four years later I'm still here. Last year, I ended up on the continent of Africa for 18 days and I just came back from Mexico. But most of all God has led me straight to Him...to His promises...to His presence...to His loving arms. It moves me!

I still have days where the grief is gut-wrenching and I long for Jim's embrace and the wonderful way he made me feel. But I look up and know that God is all-consuming. He will fill me up when no one else can. He will remain faithful when I'm disappointed elsewhere. And time and time again, He has shown His mighty power as He's moved in my life.

I have one single goal and that is God, Himself. All else will be added unto me.

2 comments:

Andrea said...

Amen! Thank you for sharing. Your testimony and the way you share your understanding of the Lord is an encouragement to me in more ways then I know. I'm so thankful for you and your life in our Lord Jesus.

~Andrea

Kelly K. said...

Dear rafiki...amiga...I'm very thankful for your example of living a life completely focused on God. That's a wonderful pic of Jim...Derek looks so much like him. I'm praying for you, friend.