Grave Sites, New Daddies & Adoption...

Zach and I have really good, deep conversations sometimes. And those are great! But often I find out his thoughts in random ways. He makes a comment that seems a little silly at the time, but reflects what’s on his mind. He tells me I’m the queen of random, since I will often just say something that is totally off track from the conversation at hand—I must accept the moniker he has bestowed on me since it’s so true. We are far too much alike.

This morning on our way to school, Zach asked where he’ll be buried when he dies. So we discussed that my spot has already been paid for. I’ll be cremated and in the same plot as daddy. I told him I’d love to have him and Derek near us, but that was their decision. However, at the end of the day it didn’t really matter where we were buried on earth, because we’d all end up together in heaven. That seemed to satisfy him.

Then the conversation went on about the potential of a future husband for me. He continued to emphatically state his opposition to this as quite frankly not even an option up for discussion. I told him that I was not seeking, but if God put someone in the path of our family than I could guarantee he would be happy with God’s plan. He wasn’t picking up what I was laying down, but acquiesced for the moment…that was progress in and of itself.

The conversation took one more turn and he began to talk about adoption. I told him I did not feel a calling in this area. He said he thought it would really be cool to have a black brother or two right around his age. He wanted to know all about the process. Do we get to pick their age? How do the adoption agencies match them to us? And on and on he went. He wanted to know if I’d send them to Covenant or Danville schools and began to talk as if it were in the works. Then he ended the conversation as we approached his school saying, “Wow, we could really surprise Derek when he gets home.”

I smiled as he closed the car door with his backpack strapped on. It was great conversation with my precious 15-year old that I could have missed if I dismissed his initial comment as just too random for my attention. I read a book a while back that addressed this very thing—taking all these seemingly sporadic moments as golden opportunities with your child. God moves in their minds and hearts differently than He moves in ours…I don’t want to ever miss what’s He’s doing in their lives.

But I did miss one a while back. We got back from a mission trip in late July and had the joy of getting to know a family of 7 that went on the trip with us. On the way home, Zach said, “You know mom, all our friends have big families. We don’t. We don’t even seem like a family, but just two people living together.” I smile when I now repeat it and it’s become a bit of a tag line, but there may have been something deeper there that I missed altogether. I’ll get back to you on that one…I need to pick that back up with Zach at a later date.