Happy Birthday To Me!

Forty-five years ago today, God blessed me with the gift of life. I look back and think...wow, where did all those years go? I don't know how many more years I get to enjoy before God calls me home, but I do know I'm delighted to be right here, right now.

I was on "poop patrol" earlier today. We have two labs, so it seems I spend quite a bit a time in the back yard cleaning up. Today as I strolled around looking for landmines, I found myself just grinning from ear to ear...for no particular reason. I was just happy to be alive and was delighting in the day.

Each day seems to be a opportunity to experience Jesus in a new way. Yesterday morning a very unexpected large check showed up in the mail, so God led me to give almost half of it away and put the rest in the bank. Last night, Zach was all wound up and was in my bedroom until after midnight sharing all kinds of things with me. I love those moments we spend together. And today, I had such a deep level of peace and joy that I can't explain.

I know Jesus is the reason for how I feel when there is no earthly reason I should feel the way I do. My circumstances haven't changed all that much, but my body and soul are one with absolute contentment. That's when I know that He came all the way down out of heaven just for me.

Late this afternoon, I received an e-mail from a friend that just thrilled me. I was thinking that God is not only great, but He is very, very good. I pray that I remain fixed on Him now and forever.

Oh, today was wonderful...to many it would appear that nothing much exciting happened, but it was my very special gift straight from heaven and I don't intend to take that gift for granted. It is my favorite day of the week. And when tomorrow becomes today, it, too, will be my favorite day of the week.

Seeking Him...4 Years and Counting

Four years ago today, I became a widow. There are days when it seems like just yesterday, but mostly it feels like a million years ago. I've moved! Not physically, but emotionally and spiritually to a place of security and peace. That is completely and wholly a result of waking up every single day with an intention to seek Jesus.

People often ask me if I'm staying in Danville long-term or whether I'll move when Zach graduates (in 3 years). I don't have an answer. My journey has been extraordinary, thus far. God has exploded in my life in incredible ways and it is because of my intention to stay fixed on Him and His plan that I don't ponder the future too much. I find the small daily acts of obedience begins to lay a plan for the week and the month and then before I know it, I'm standing somewhere I never expected.

A few months after Jim died, there was no doubt in my mind I would leave Danville by the following summer. But four years later I'm still here. Last year, I ended up on the continent of Africa for 18 days and I just came back from Mexico. But most of all God has led me straight to Him...to His promises...to His presence...to His loving arms. It moves me!

I still have days where the grief is gut-wrenching and I long for Jim's embrace and the wonderful way he made me feel. But I look up and know that God is all-consuming. He will fill me up when no one else can. He will remain faithful when I'm disappointed elsewhere. And time and time again, He has shown His mighty power as He's moved in my life.

I have one single goal and that is God, Himself. All else will be added unto me.

Biking On Holy Ground--Mexico Part 6

Our final day before leaving for the states was a fitting conclusion to a great experience. We arrived late in the morning to one of the children’s homes and loaded up 30+ kids on a bus with us to go to the park. We are each assigned two kids—I had the delight of hanging out with Kevin and Jonathon.

When we got to the park, we rented bikes for all the kids. The look on their faces as they were each handed a bike was so priceless. They were ecstatic and eager to get on with the fun. But we they had to all line up and wait until everyone had their bikes. We all positioned ourselves in a sea of bikes waiting to take off. The signal was given and my boys were gone.

It took me several laps around the park to connect with them. I would ride with one for a bit and then catch up with the other and ride with him. It was great fun as we rode through sprinklers, over bridges and up little embankments to shortcut a trip back to the shelter where we gathered. I quickly realized there is no language barrier when you’re riding bikes. The boys spoke no English and I spoke only a smattering of Spanish, but we had a ball and were able to “talk” to each other the entire time.

After a few hours, we turned our bikes in and had lunch together. What a treat! The tacos were delicious and the kids were delighted to be able to finish and go back for seconds. We handed out many tacos, fruit drinks and snacks. I walked around after eating and just hung out with many of the kids taking pictures and playing. Many, including my Kevin, loved sitting by the lake watching the ducks. The joy on their faces and contentment in their eyes made me want to keep that day going forever.

But eventually, we had to bid farewell. They got on one bus and we got on the other. Several were crying and many just waved and waved until we got out of sight. It was very sad.

On the bus ride home, I was just reflecting on the whole week and wishing I didn’t have to hop on a plane the next morning. I wanted to stay. There were times I felt as if I were on holy ground with those kids. I was sure God had blessed them in ways I have never felt or could put into words. He was doing a good work in them. My heart was full.

I totally immersed myself in my experience down there. I did not make phone calls or check e-mails. I had no idea what was going on around the world and didn’t really care. As our bus approached the Back2Back campus, someone from the front of the bus yelled, “Oh, my gosh. My friend just texted me. Michael Jackson died.” The only thought that went through my head as the buzz on the buss began was how totally irrelevant that was to me.

May God continue to bless those children who I had the honor of meeting. He promises many things for orphans…

Exodus 22:22-23
Deut 10:18
Deut 14:29
Psalm 10:14,18
Psalm 68:5
Psalm 82:3-4
Psalm 140:12
Isaiah 37:17
Isaiah 49:15
Isaiah 63:9
Jeremiah 49:11
Hosea 14:3
John 14:18
John 10:3
Romans 9:15

I know He never goes back on His Word and that gives me great comfort.

A Servant By The River--Mexico Part 5

Wednesday was the most powerful day of the entire week for me. We travelled to visit a squatter’s village called Meme’s Rio. Rio is Spanish for river. When the poorest of the poor have nowhere else to go, they build their homes along the river since this is government property and considered useless land. The government rarely kicks them off; thus they have a place to call home.

This particular village is built along side a trash dump. That is the means of support for many who live there. They scrounge through the trash to find stuff to resale or recycle to make a buck or two a day. It is a painfully poor village with little hope.

We had the honor of having lunch with the residents, handing out clothes to the ladies and toys to the kids. But the highlight of the day for me was the prayer walk. We were led by Cathy, one of the staff members. She has a real heart for the village. As we walked along, we prayed generally for protection for the kids and for the hope of Jesus to take hold. We also thanked God that due to the drought the grass was low, so it was a deterrent for people to hide in the tall grass and molest the children when they got home from school.

We also had the joy of praying specifically for several residents who came out of their homes. We prayed for jobs, for a deaf girl’s perseverance, a young girl’s foot that was sliced from the bottom to the top by glass in the river, and that demons would leave the home of a lady who has battled so much. We also prayed for a prostitute and her 2 young kids who we did not see. She works during the night and keeps the kids locked inside the home during the day while she sleeps.

I was deeply moved and profoundly impacted by the stark contrast in my daily prayers versus those we prayed on that Wednesday. I pray that my youngest son’s flight arrives safely in Phoenix, that God watches over my oldest in boot camp, and that He blesses relationships in my life. All of these prayers are valid, but I went to my knees humbly before God asking that He change me from the inside out, so I never forget the blessed life I live as opposed to the deep poverty of so many around this world.

I’m so very thankful for people like Meme who I met while there. She lives in Rio as her calling in life to care for these people. She could live in much better conditions, but chooses to live among the poor and serve them. She is a great servant of God and it was my great privilege to spend time with her.

Jesus, Our Only Hope--Mexico Part 4

We spent Monday and Tuesday at an orphanage very close to the Back2Back campus. We walked there each day. It was at this home where we worked on several projects including painting steps to their chapel, scrubbing chairs and tables, installing a fence and new clothes line. As I worked and sweated, I felt so honored to be able to help in some small way to give these kids a better life.

We worked hard and played hard. On Monday, we had a birthday party for a bunch of the kids and handed out presents. They were loving life. Watching them smile and then get slightly embarrassed when they had to open their gift in front of everyone was so charming. They were precious beyond belief.

But I was most impacted by the story from one of the staff members. He said that this home used to be great spiritually, but their chapel was falling a part, so there was no worship time. It was affecting the whole home. So recently Back2Back came in and repaired the roof and put in new windows. We got to put the finishing touch on by scraping and painting the stairs that lead up the hill to the church. Since the renovation, it has become a place of great pride and a spiritual revival appears to be on the move. But the staff member asked that we continue to pray for this home.

Later that day before we left, I ascended the hill to the chapel and just sat there taking in the beautiful scenery and praying for these kids. As we had our small group time later that night, I still couldn’t get it out of my mind. As I began to reflect on that prayer time on the hill as the highlight of my day, I couldn’t help but cry. I had to hold back what I thought was going to be a flood of tears. All I could think was that these precious children and their smiles and all that we are doing for them would mean nothing without the hope of Jesus. And I wanted that for them more than anything else.

So I continue to pray that they come to know Jesus and place all their future hope and joy in Him. Our theme in our daily devotions was “shelter.” And Psalm 91:1-2 became my prayer for them…”He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.”

Welcome Party--Mexico Part 3

We were welcomed Saturday upon our arrival by having the pleasure of dining and playing in the pool with the kids from one of the homes. It was a blast. We were challenged to step outside our comfort zones, get involved and just love on the kids. That was easy!

The pool on the Back2Back campus was so packed with kids that you could hardly turn around without bumping into 2 or 3 of them. I played with many, but spent extra time with a few in particular. On the surface they seem like perfectly normal kids just wanting to have fun and goof off, but each of these kids has a story. They were all abandoned by their parents and now call an orphanage home. They have attached to the other kids as sisters and brothers. It was an honor to splash around with them, hug them and just pour myself into them for one afternoon.

At one point, I got out of the pool and just sat in a chair to take in the beautiful scene in front of me—laughter, smiles, fun, splashing…I see all that the Back2Back ministry is doing on behalf of these kids and I know that with the hope of Jesus, warm food in their belly and love from many that they have a much better chance for a full life.

The next day we were all challenged to make a difference by figuring out what the “burr in our saddle” was. We all have a passion for something in life…something that just won’t let go, but we ignore it long enough until it calluses over and we become numb to it. Then that burr no longer causes us to move in ways outside ourselves. It no longer forces us to follow that longing. We get comfortable; we become content; we settle.

I’ve had a burr in my saddle for quite a while. I want it to keep making me uncomfortable, so I must depend on Jesus every day to move me in unexpected ways. I want my life to be motivated by the burr; motivated by the passion that God has given me. I want to make a difference in the lives of others…to give hope to those without any! May I pray that prayer every day.