Freedom in Forgiveness

Sometimes life is heavy. Sometimes the collision of emotions and events sends me to my knees in a New York minute. But that’s okay. It’s a good place to be. But sometimes, I let the devil get a foothold. Sometimes I allow him to manipulate me into reacting and doing things that are otherwise ungodly and very unhealthy. And it’s even worse when the person on the receiving end is someone I dearly love. That happened last week.

So what did I do when I sinned? If just my thinking is unwholesome in any way, it hasn’t hurt anyone. I get into God’s Word and have Him straighten me out before my thoughts go to my heart and my heart to my lips. He’s very good about teaching me and convicting me. However, when I allow mental manipulation to manifest itself toward someone else, I must take complete responsibility. And that’s what I did.

I went humbly before the person I hurt and gave a very honest admission of why I did what I did and then asked for forgiveness. It is very scary to lay yourself out like that because there is always the chance someone you love will think less of you and reject your pleas for forgiveness. Thankfully, that’s not what happened. The person graciously accepted not only my apology, but accepted me for who I am...pitifully broken at times.

As I went before God to ask for forgiveness as well, I poured out before Him all that was inside me that contributed to my behavior. It was very freeing and comforting to know that the God I serve has an endless supply of grace for me. I am lucky that there are people in my life who offer me grace, but I know as we live in the flesh, it’s not endless like God’s. So I must learn and correct as a part of repentance...truly turning away from the sin that so easily entangles. That I intend to do.

I know when I’ve personally forgiven someone, which I also did recently, that too is very freeing. You know longer are help captive by this person regardless of how small the issue may appear to be. Your world is no longer colored by your sin of an unforgiving nature. Oh, what a wonderful spiritual gift to give and receive forgiveness.

Micah 7:18 “Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.”

Extraordinarily Ordinary

Sometimes life seems ordinary. I follow a fairly regular routine each day taking Zach to school, working, and doing the normal evening activities. This past week was just one of those weeks. I did the same stuff I do every day and every week. Normally that's fine with me. I like regular. I like routine.

But in the midst of ordinary, God was extraordinary. He allowed me to have some wonderfully deep and insightful conversations; He guided me to a couple major decisions; He convicted me and then encouraged me to act on that which He taught; He brought on a few more challenges. He did all of this in one ordinary week.

Sometimes I feel a deep itch to step way outside myself. To do something really radical and leave ordinary. But then I remember that God has me right where He wants me. I try to move at His speed and according to His timetable. I have a habit of wanting to move when I feel like it or just because...that usually doesn't work out so well though. I find my most extraordinary moments are the ones totally ordained and in sync with God.

As I'm typing this, I had to pause for a quite a bit. I had a wonderful conversation with Derek. I was telling him about something that was bothering me deeply. It wasn't even about him, but he got it. Through tears and discussion, I found him most helpful and attentive. We saw eye to eye and it was a very precious moment for me to see the maturity in his thought process. I so love both my boys and being with them. Tonight I got one more taste of the incredible man my firstborn is becoming.

I'm thankful for my ordinary life and my extraordinary God!

Hitting Hebrews

I spent a lot of time in Hebrews this week, particularly chapters 10-12. I was working through an issue that required me to be humble and just let some things go. I was okay with this. However, there was something bigger at play and God took me to Hebrews to show me what it was. Being meek does not mean being weak.

God showed me in Hebrews 10:23 that I am to "hold unswervingly" to my faith; to be confident in verse 35; to persevere in verse 36 and not to shrink back in verse 39. As I moved on to chapters 11 and 12, God reminded me to stay fixed on Him no matter what and that He has something much better planned for me than my current circumstances. As I finished up, I camped on 12:29..."for our God is a consuming fire." Yes, He is!

So I immediately applied what God showed me by acting firmly and boldly in my faith regardless of the outcome. I was so very thankful that God took me past my desire to just be humble and brought me to the point of realizing that there is never ever a reason not to stand up for my Jesus and the Biblical principles under which He requires that I operate.

I have tremendous peace regarding the issue I was dealing with this past week. And I am breathing sweeter air as a result of God's loving guidance.

Spontaneous Combustion

This past week has been a pure delight. There were so many wonderful moments with my Savior that made me smile and kept me dancing. The week started with a difficult issue, but God quickly used it to reveal Himself to me once again. He is so faithful in that regard. And every single time, I wait and wonder. He shows up and I could kick myself for ever doubting. Then I want to shout with joy from the mountaintop, because I saw Him once again in His glory and majesty right next to me.

But the best part of my week came in those small acts of obedience I talk about so often. God called me very spontaneously on quite a few occasions in the course of 7 days to do something for Him. Sometimes it involved time, a call, money or some form of service. They were all small things, but I was called very abruptly to do all of them. It wasn't until the end of the week that I put them all together and realized how often God had called upon me. And the best part was that I responded. I don't always get it right...this week I happened to be listening.

By the time I strung the acts of kindness together, I thought I was going to pop. I felt so full. I was thanking God that He was present enough in my life to ask me to use what He had given me. In my Esther Bible study this week, I was in the 4th chapter with the most famous verse of the book..."And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" (v 14) I thought...I am called to a purpose in whatever position I find myself, but it's most often to affect one life at a time, one day at a time...a random act with eternal rewards. I hope God sees fit to use me more and more until I explode in spontaneous combustion.