I have come to expect miracles. The Power that raised Jesus from the dead lives inside of me and He is operating in miraculous ways inside and outside of me. I love watching God’s providence unfold before my very eyes in my daily life. As I live this beautiful and glorious life that comes from loving Him above all else, I often want to kick myself for the wasted years spent loving Germaine just way too much. But we won’t go there…it’s not pretty. I was obsessed with me and all that made me feel good and what I wanted. I ebbed and flowed through highs and lows always searching for that next high and loathing the lows. Neither had the true eternal meaning that filled my soul.
I am working through a Bible study that has 5 tenets as the foundation. The first 2 are: God is who He says He is and God will do what He says He will do. I have come to believe these 2 statements with all my heart. And that is primarily because my faith grows simply because God is so faithful.
Last Sunday, I was making my normal 2.5 daily trek through the woods…IPod in my ears and a 5 lb weight in each hand. The leaves had begun to fall and I slipped down a hill twisting my ankle really bad. I continued on. As I meditated and prayed, the pain did not seem so bad. However, when I got home, it had swelled and bruised quite nicely. Within several hours, it was very ugly. The next morning, I came to work and God brought Matthew 9:29 to mind from my Bible study the night before…”According to your faith it will be done to you.” I taped it to my ankle and believed my faith would heal me. I was texting Derek and telling him what I was doing. He just shook his head and said something about me being strange. (I get that a lot.) I asked him if he truly thought God’s Word was living and he said yes. Then I asked him if he believed if it was alive that it had the power to seep into my skin and heal me. Once again, he said yes. The next day, there was almost no indication of my fall. Bruising and swelling was gone.
God was not done. I have been arguing for months about a bill that I did to feel I should pay. On Thursday, I got a refund check and on Friday I received an e-mail saying they cut the bill in half. The check and bill were within $1 of each other. God provides. God is faithful. God is always by my side.
He very often does big, extraordinary things to encourage me in my faith. I am so grateful that He loves me enough to take such good care of me. I am also watching Him work in my life as He is transforming me through a process that is nothing short of a miracle. I have baggage I’ve carried with me since grade school. Yes, that long. I have poured over Scripture, been on my knees and have simply worn out the Throne regarding sin that I want out of my life. Nothing was working. I often felt defeated. I often got tired of the fight. But through His divine ordination of events, books, prayer and Scripture. I am feeling a revolution about to unfold. I am feeling free. I have laid claim to His promises and have chosen not to let go until I’m free from bondage. As I write, I am toward the end of a very specific process that is about to transform me into an even newer creation with a purer heart and cleaner hands. I can’t wait to get there. Stayed tuned.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The God I Love
I read to be inspired. If a book is not teaching or inspiring me, I usually close it and move on. I used to feel obligated after starting a book to finish it. I’m not sure why. I think after I plopped down $10-15, I felt I had to get my money’s worth. But now most of my book purchases come from Half Price Bookstores, so I pay a buck. I can assure you, there’s no guilt anymore if I don’t finish the book.
Over the past three weeks or so, I have not read a lot. I kinda went through a dry spell. Every time I picked up a book to read, it seemed flat. I found there was a reason for that. God wanted more of my attention in other areas at the moment. He had things to show me…He wanted to change me…He wanted to reveal specific things to me. I am convinced that every single thing in my life is ordained, even the books I read. I know this, because I live it and hear Jesus speak daily. I won’t reveal all He discussed with me recently—some is much too personal, but it’s safe to say I feel a greater peace and closeness with Him as a result.
But last Sunday after visiting my family in WV, I borrowed a book my mom just finished. It’s the memoir of Joni Eareckson Tada called The God I Love. The title alone drew me to the book. I finished it in a week.
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine turned me on to an interview with her. I listened to it twice. It spoke very powerfully to me. Joni has been a quadriplegic for over 40 years. She just recently learned she had breast cancer. She said in the interview that when people come up and ask if they can pray for her healing, she says yes, but she’s more interested in them praying for her self-centeredness; pride; impotence, and slothfulness. Wow! She could garner all the authentic, godly sympathy she wanted in her condition, but she is more concerned about her sanctification and become closer to Christ. She truly inspires me.
I had this interview on my mind quite a bit and when I saw her memoir on mom’s nightstand, I knew I needed to read it. I finished in a week. She talks very candidly about her struggles after her diving accident, but it is clear she was and is fully aware that looking squarely in the face of Jesus and focusing on who He is is the only thing that brings her healing and peace. It’s not about what someone else did or didn’t do or what has happened to her or how she is feeling. It is all about the nature and character of God. And loving Him through His son Jesus!
She said at one point in the book, “My pursuit of Him was no longer something extraordinary—it was my everyday routine.” It was about the cross—nothing more; nothing less. “The world’s worst murder became the world’s only salvation.” As she poured over the Scriptures, memorized them, sung them and made them her own, she started to become the whole person He wanted her to be. I closed the book with a renewed joy to seek Him above all else—not just each day, but each minute of each day.
Over the past three weeks or so, I have not read a lot. I kinda went through a dry spell. Every time I picked up a book to read, it seemed flat. I found there was a reason for that. God wanted more of my attention in other areas at the moment. He had things to show me…He wanted to change me…He wanted to reveal specific things to me. I am convinced that every single thing in my life is ordained, even the books I read. I know this, because I live it and hear Jesus speak daily. I won’t reveal all He discussed with me recently—some is much too personal, but it’s safe to say I feel a greater peace and closeness with Him as a result.
But last Sunday after visiting my family in WV, I borrowed a book my mom just finished. It’s the memoir of Joni Eareckson Tada called The God I Love. The title alone drew me to the book. I finished it in a week.
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine turned me on to an interview with her. I listened to it twice. It spoke very powerfully to me. Joni has been a quadriplegic for over 40 years. She just recently learned she had breast cancer. She said in the interview that when people come up and ask if they can pray for her healing, she says yes, but she’s more interested in them praying for her self-centeredness; pride; impotence, and slothfulness. Wow! She could garner all the authentic, godly sympathy she wanted in her condition, but she is more concerned about her sanctification and become closer to Christ. She truly inspires me.
I had this interview on my mind quite a bit and when I saw her memoir on mom’s nightstand, I knew I needed to read it. I finished in a week. She talks very candidly about her struggles after her diving accident, but it is clear she was and is fully aware that looking squarely in the face of Jesus and focusing on who He is is the only thing that brings her healing and peace. It’s not about what someone else did or didn’t do or what has happened to her or how she is feeling. It is all about the nature and character of God. And loving Him through His son Jesus!
She said at one point in the book, “My pursuit of Him was no longer something extraordinary—it was my everyday routine.” It was about the cross—nothing more; nothing less. “The world’s worst murder became the world’s only salvation.” As she poured over the Scriptures, memorized them, sung them and made them her own, she started to become the whole person He wanted her to be. I closed the book with a renewed joy to seek Him above all else—not just each day, but each minute of each day.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
I Want To Be A Sanctuary
I was pulling out of the driveway this morning at the same time as Zach. I watched as he backed his car out. He swung wide and his front tires rolled into the grass as he cut the wheel a bit too sharp. As I looked at him and shook my head, he put his index finger to his lips and said, “Shhhhh.” Then he mouthed, “It wasn’t me” as he grinned and headed down the road. My boys make me smile; they bring me joy and can put a spring in my step.
Sometimes, however, we run into speed bumps. Our differences cause friction in our relationship and in the family. As I chat with friends about things that I'm working through at home, most will say it’s typical and they went through it too. But while teenager differences and difficulties may be a part of most families, I was determined to stand firm on the character issues that needed to be addressed. The problems always go deeper than the superficial disagreement. God is so kind to grant me wisdom and knowledge to parent. He shows me exactly where I need to focus to bring the greatest reward and helps me help my boys become the young men that He wants them to be. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
I’m very thankful to God as He walks with me and continues to reveal what He wants for me as well. That, too, is a process. Over the past few weeks, He’s been working in several areas. All of which, are designed to make me more like Him. And as I draw to Him, I have a new and refreshing joy. Here’s what He’s been saying to me:
--Circumcise your lips…carve away all the unnecessary words, so that my lips can surely be an overflow of my heart. A preacher once said to “think” before speaking…are your words True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind. If not, don’t say it.
--He is asking me to love the person right in front of me. Not to spend too much time on what is on my calendar later in the day, later in the week or even think about what or who I want to spend time with, but love the person that God puts right in front of me at that moment.
--Focus on God, Himself, and not my circumstances. The circumstances often take on a life of their own. God is much, much bigger and I must stay fixed on Him. Listen. Period.
I just spent the weekend with my family in WV and love being there. It is relaxing. I had great conversations, ate well, visited with old friends, and spend time alone with God in the stunning nature He created. He shifted me while I was there. I want to keep being attentive to what He has to say. I was able to worship in my childhood church, and we sang…
Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary
Pure and holy, tried and true
With thanksgiving, I'll be a living
Sanctuary for You
It is you, Lord
Who came to save
The heart and soul
Of every man
It is you Lord
who knows my weakness
Who gives me strength,
With thine own hand.
Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary
Pure and Holy, tried and true
With thanksgiving I'll be a living
Sanctuary for you
Lead Me on Lord
From temptation
Purify me
From within
Fill my heart with
You holy spirit
Take away all my sin
Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary
Pure and holy, tried and true
With thanksgiving, I'll be a living
Sanctuary for You
I can’t get these words out of my head!
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