Christmas Joy

Christmas brings different kinds of joy for everyone. I am continually amazed in ways outside my capability to express at the magnificent gift of salvation. It makes me long for heaven and gives me a heart of great thanks. I express my joy in my faith to the boys quite often and at 18 and 15 they sometimes think I’m a little corny. I understand, but there’s nothing corny or insignificant about love for Jesus. When I bought a new car a few weeks ago, it had a spot for a plate on the front, so I was excited to have one more way to proclaim my faith. I bought a bold plate in red and blue that says, “Jesus is Lord.” The boys just roll their eyes. They think I overdue it sometimes. I don’t.

This Christmas day was purely delightful for me as I hung out with the boys. They both loved their gifts…we made wings, grilled steaks, and ate chocolate pie. We have all three become coffee drinkers, so we made several pots and just goofed off all day long watching movies and hanging out. I delight in these days. Usually by the next day, I feel a bit of cabin fever and want to get out, but I didn’t on the 26th. I was just happy being with Derek and Zach. They bring me great joy! We did pop out and about to shop a little and have some fun, but ended up back at the house late in the afternoon to hang out some more. We watched WVU basketball and ran out to pick up some dinner. I know this all sounds boring to the average person, but I love these days. I am fully aware that time with just the three of us is thinner and thinner.

So it’s Sunday and my heart is full. I felt called to visit a new church this morning. The message was so on target and so perfectly in line with all that God has been showing me that I stand fully present in this moment—a moment of joy and delight as He continues to bless me, teach me, and bring me peace without end. Thank you, Jesus!

Heart Choices

I recently finished a book about the heart. The essence of the book discussed the things that contaminate our heart and steal our life. At first blush, I read through the four areas and thought I didn't have a real problem with them, but I was wrong. God showed me otherwise. It's one of those books that made me think more after I put it down than during the read.

The book not only outlined four areas that affect our heart, but also gave Biblical responses to defeating them. These weaknesses and their corresponding truths are: anger - forgiveness, greed - generosity, guilt - confession and jealousy - celebration. As I reflected on each of these, I realized I had elements of each in my heart. And the proper reaction can truly defeat them. I wrote them down and keep them on my desk to remind myself of how to keep those monsters at bay.

If any element of anger arises, I remind myself that I need to forgive the person that causes the anger. When I feel a bit too tight a grip to my worldly posssessions, then I must not only analyze how I'm spending my money, but give more generously today than I did yesterday. It will loosen my hold. When guilt creeps into my actions by filling up my time with things that I think I should do to please people, then I confess to my Lord that I need to get more centered on His will. And when I find myself wanting something I don't have that someone else possesses, I celebrate in what God has done for them and delight in all that He has given me.

Sometimes, it's not always easy putting those truths into action, but I have found that habits can correct the heart. I may not feel exactly pure in my motives in the beginning, but my intent will catch up with my actions and then my heart will change. I want God to have complete control of my heart (the place no one sees). In order for Him to have it, I must remove any barriers to Him. My favorite line from the book sums it all up..."What we need is a heart that can keep pace with our outward obedience."

2 Chronicles 12:14 "He did evil because he had not set his heart on seeking the LORD."

Chasing God

I finished a book this past week called Chasing Daylight. There were many parts in it that were very compelling and made me begin to focus on how I can use every moment God gives me to His benefit...not mine. I am very intent on not getting too caught up in my job or the routine of my life that my light becomes dull through a mediocre existence. I want no part of that.

God taught me this week, as I reflected on some recent ungodly behavior by godly people, that the obedience He requires of me is not dictated on the reaction of others. I had to pray through the fact that if I do what I know God wants me to do, but the reaction of some is less than I expected, it's okay. I'm not a people pleaser...I'm a God pleaser. When I find myself desiring something from someone that I do not get, I ask myself if I'm centered on God or others. This keeps my perspective and quickly shifts my priorities. It's very healthy for my spiritual life...not necessarily easy, but essential.

So in the book, the author asks the question--"What would our lives be like if God were the source of all our inspiration?" I've fixed myself on that question as it relates to the smallest details of my life. God lives in the mundane...He lives and moves in the ordinary. And as the author when on to say..."When we choose to seize divine moments, we create an environment where others are unleashed to fulfill their God-given potential." I want to be a part of God's plan to help others see Him and become all they can be through glory strength sent directly from the Throne.

God showed me this week, just when I was thinking I was less than I should be, that He had me right where He wanted me. As long as I walked in obedience, the reaction of others (intentional or not) has no bearing on how I should live my life. It continues to be freeing to live wholly and completely sold out to Him.

The Candy Dish

My grandmother died 9 months after Jim. She was a wonderful, godly lady who was more like a second mother than a grandmother. I loved being in her house and just hanging out with her. When I found out 3 months after Jim died that she had pancreatic cancer, I remember thinking that I would make sure she knew how I felt. I wrote her a letter and called her almost every week. We laughed and enjoyed our regular conversations.

I was thinking just last week as I returned from a visit with my family in WV, how much I still miss her after over three years. When I think of her, I smile. There is not a single sad emotion that comes to mind. She was the best grandma I could ever ask for. She lived just 50 yards from mom's house so I was over there all the time growing up. Even when I went back home to visit during my adult years, I couldn't wait to drop my things and head over to visit grandma.

There are certain things that are perfect and beautiful reminders of grandma--her old tin pan that she did all her mixing and odds and ends in and a candy dish. From the time I was old enough to remember being in grandma's house, the green candy dish was present and always filled with candy. I would often come in, grab a piece and lay down on the davenport as I talked with grandma about everything and nothing.

I am now the proud owner of both items and I couldn't be more delighted to have them in my possession. The candy dish has a prominent place in my kitchen and I continue the tradition of keeping it filled. I started out with one of my favorite candies--peanut M&Ms. Every time I walk through the kitchen and see the candy dish, I think of grandma and my heart is warmed.

I was thinking if I was called home today, were there people in my life who would have bad memories of me? How many would smile when they think of me? Have I done anything that I need to make right? I am continuing to give that deep thought to make sure the life I live keeps Jesus at the center and that I live Him out for all the world to see. When I fail, as I often do, I want to make sure I make amends. May I continue to show others the kindness that God shows me every day.

Brain Freeze

My brain hurt this week. Sometimes I get just a little too much on my plate and I can physically feel my brain screaming for relief. So by Wednesday, I hunkered down in a quiet house after the boys went off to Deeper Life and regrouped. I needed that. I didn’t want to write, read or use my brain for anything. All that I was dealing with was very good and inspiring stuff. I was in a super mood, but my brain just ached from overuse.

So I reviewed highlights from a book I had recently read, turned on ESPN to catch up on some sports news, and prayed. That may seem like an illogical sequence of events, but oddness of those 3 things brought great relief. God always finds a way to work into the tiniest crevices and bring great fulfillment. As I prayed I could feel a release of tension and a great calmness and peace that only my Father can give. I was then prepared for what He needed me to do next.

I have often said that we can’t get so busy doing God’s work that we forget to let God work. I don’t ever want to fall prey to that. I love to listen quietly to His still small voice and follow His lead. However, I can’t do that if my brain is hurting and I’m focused on a project at work, Christmas lists or anything else of such nature. I want to keep Him at the center no matter what.

This is a daily process for me. Each morning as I sweat on my Elliptical, I thank God that He allowed me to wake up and then I surrender my day to Him. Once I give the day to Him, I also surrender my wants, my thoughts, and my actions. Even if I allow Him to claim the day, I need to be aware that I can’t get in the way of what He wants to do by my preoccupation or desires. It’s a package deal.

Isaiah 55:6 comes to mind as I focus on Him. “Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near.”